Friday, January 28, 2011

With a Capital 'T'

Trouble in paradise.  No shit, right?  Guess what?  Having an extended houseguest is causing marital troubles!  Boy oh boy, betcha didn't see that one coming, right?  Yeah.  I know.  Oldest story in the book.  Only way this could be worse if it was my mother-in-law or his father-in-law right?  Then we'd be a situation ripe for a sitcom or someshit.  Or, better yet, a scandalous intrigue on Lifetime.

But nope.  Just a shiftless layabout brother in law.  Who bothers me more by the minute.  I think that might not be hyperbole folks.  His every inhalation and exhalation is driving me banana sandwich.  And I know I love him, deep down, because I've been around for almost his whole life, and there are things I like about him.  It's just really difficult to focus on those qualities or that familial love when I am forced into these tight quarters with him for this long.  Right now all I am really seeing are the glaring personality flaws.  The worst things about him.  And none of the good.

I don't really respect him.  And I've found that if I can't respect someone or worse, if I lose respect for someone, it becomes a Sisyphean task to go ahead and LIKE them at all.  And many of you have met me.  I'm told that I broadcast my emotions pretty clearly; that my face might as well be a marquee of what I'm thinking.  I don't mean it to be.  Honestly.  I'd rather be kind to all people, be warm and friendly and then vent or fume LATER like most people do.  I don't actually want to be a bitch almost ever. 

So, in order to avoid making things worse I've taken to hanging out in my room alot, reading, writing, napping, internets, you know the deal.  Can't even curl up with a bottle of lube and a vibrator and have a good relaxation session though, as my walls don't reach the ceiling.  AWKWARD. heeheehee.  So I do the aforementioned little hobby things out of plain sight where my face can freely register its honest reactions to the things that come out of that kid's mouth with no additional harm done. 

But it feels a bit like being grounded.  And I miss the rest of my apartment!  Lol.  Ah well.  I'll have it back soon enough, right?

Except now Danielle's got Aaron thinking about moving to another apartment!  Oh, D.  I heart you to pieces.  She wants us to move to somewhere with actual real big-kid bedrooms, which is sound advice.  She also wants us to choose a place with room for an addition, and not the tubby 6 foot foul-mouthed ignorant lazy 21 year old kid of addition.  She is determined to see us settled in a place that will be conducive to and-baby-makes-three.  Which, again, is very reasonable and smart thinking.  And we looked, aaron and I, yesterday, at a ton of listings.  (Part of my 'being open' crusade.  Plus?  Participating in an activity that involved Aaron making FUTURE plans with me seemed a hell of alot more promising than his attitude of the previous evening which seemed to hint that separation was on the horizon and approaching fast.  So craigslist surfing and cock-stroking were the order of the day, lolz.  Incidentally, later he goes:  "I'm not sure I was entirely ready for that."  Referring to our insane marathon of incredible love-making all morning --thanks snowday!-- So I go: "What d'you mean?  Like, I raped you?"  He looks a little rueful and says: "No...but you seduced me."  Big boy pout.  I could only laugh.  Whatever.  What's the old expression?  Go out with a bang?  I figured I should get some while the getting was good, if indeed we were on the verge of collapse.  JK.  I wanted to make up and share connubial bliss. So I gently encouraged him to want the same.  All morning.  And it was fabulous.No regrets there. Plus it made me more cheerful about things like his lazy useless asshole brother who literally played videogames for like 16-20 hours over the last day and a half, and who will very likely play 10 more hours today before we get home from work.  God I am so over him.  Hey, this parenthetical has taken on a life of its own!  Time to close those parenthesis!)

But the truth is I ADORE this apartment and don't really wanna give it up just yet, especially when we're on the verge of getting it back to ourselves!  All I'm asking for is some time to really live here without dickwad.  And I know D is skeptical (and I'm not 100% here either), but Aaron and I have agreed that we could go ahead and make due with one child in here for a while.  People make due with worse.  Maybe our baby will 'get used to' having no real walls. lol.  Maybe we'll rig a Punky Brewster style basket up to the loft, like how she used to get her dog Branden up to that bad-ass treehouse of hers!  Heeheehee.  Don't call child protection services yet, we're still in the 'not yet' phase of planning.

2 comments:

WitchyEditor said...

I Know! What is is about snow days that are so sexy. Jonny and I went at it twice and then I treated myself to a "Night in London" ;) while he went to his mother's house.

I'm exhausted..lol

Yelp! said...

geez. my snow day was stressful. had to take Z to the doctors cause we were worried about dry skin. obviously, nothing wrong with her. and twice 90 year olds almost hit us! one of them drove through a RED light?!!! fucker. if he had hit us, i would would have hit him in the dentures for hitting a car with a BABY in it. VENT. ug. anyway.
oh, and the thing about the apt, is it would be cool if you could get more space and pay less! right?! oh, and if you find a place with a pool, i'm spending the summer with you - whats that? you don't want another house guest? :)