Had a blast meeting DJ and Amanda's whole brood! 5 lovely, energetic, personality-filled balls of fun! Of course seeing the big happy family made my uterus flip! Ah well. I'm trying to repeat the soothing mantra: "If it's meant to happen it will happen". I've had to repeat it so often about so many different aspects of life that it's becoming as second nature as my own name! Don't be surprised if you meet me one day soon and I intoduce myself as "If it's meant to happen it will happen!" or respond to "Hey Beth! How are you?" with a blithe but somewhat maniacal "IF ITS MEANT TO HAPPEN IT WILL HAPPEN!!!!"

Anyway. Winning 84 million dollars in the lottery was, apparently, not meant to happen last night. Neither was cleaning the apartment. Nor securing a student loan for the coming year, nor getting a call back from the realtors selling 40 Arlington street.

What was meant to happen yesterday? Visiting Dad but not doing anything productive (I.E. doing the garden or cleaning the bird cage), going to McMenamy's with Mum (yes I still hate fish and was relegated to the 'Landlubber's' section of the menu), Wathing a good chunk of the Law and Order SVU marathon (clang clang!), picking Matt up from driver's ed (driving by the house on Arlington Street for a minute or two since I was on that side of town anyway... sigh.), watching Stardust with aaron when we were beginning to go mad watching Law and Order (clang....yawn...clang...), Then going on a midnight adventure down route 44 and into haunted rehoboth.

So I didn't win the lottery. So I'm stressed about money and hanging on the edge of reason and reality. So what?

I'm enjoying my life, enjoying the time we have together before the shit officially hits the fan. Sometimes I wish we could just disappear and stay in this suspended state of fun and joy and laughter and warmth and cuddling and wasting hours and not worrying.

If it's meant to happen it will happen!