The Inspirational Voice!

I recently caught-up with a very dear friend of mine on the phone. We hadn't spoken, quite literally, in years, save for facebook messages and the occasional text or voice mail (she tends to leave me happy birthday songs on my voicemail every year, which I save and re-listen to on occasion:))


We attended AMDA together and she is one of the most remarkable women I've ever known, and a dear, dear friend. We'd spend hours and hours working on scenes, songs, projects and just sitting on the back deck of The Strat in spring & summer chatting and philosophizing and sharing and indulging in Indian take-out.


I looked up to her, and am happy to say that I still do! She inspires me to be better; her perseverance and persistence encourage me to make more of myself, but not in a competitive way, more in a celebratory way.


I guess lately I've been really into this idea of blogging, because the motivation behind this exploration involves finding and strengthening my 'voice', and encouraging others to do the same! To tell our stories or to create stories, but to tell stories, weave tales and express ourselves. Talking to Kim only fueled this passion further. Her voice is a strong, clear, rich, and singular one and I told her to Get back to Blogging Woman!


When she can find a minute between being amazing, happy, innovative, pro-active and incredible, she assures me that she will, indeed, resume blogging.


Meanwhile she's strengthened my resolve to strive for excellence rather than perfection, because as she puts it, something that is 'perfect' is something that has no room to grow; if it is perfect then it is frozen, stuck. Whereas the pursuit of excellence is something organic and changing and infinitely more human and compelling.


So bring on the typos and the blunders because they are part of my story and most definitely part of my voice. I'm going to try alot harder to love myself for all my flaws and accept and celebrate the light I have to give.


Don't panic though, readers. This does not mean I intend to become lofty or preachy! It may mean I occasionally become more engaged in subjects that hold my passion-- such as the arts or education or women's issues, but it will not stop me from writing trashy beach fiction! My voice is an irreverent one, a comedic one, a naughty one, a provocative one, a bawdy one, an Irish one!!. So there will still be erotica and disturbing fiction and playful journalling and lots and lots of foul language and sex talk.


Because that's part of my story. My voice. And I love it!


So thanks Kim! I hope you've begun to read, and I look forward to any and all comments you have... I know I was nervous when I spilled the beans, but after some thought I am very, very glad you have the url to this little corner of the blogosphere now.


What was that phrase you used to repeat at AMDA? Either Rock Out With Your Cock Out or Exit? Something like that. That was the spirit of it.


So let's hope my proverbial cock stays out and rockin'!!


PS: I think I'm going to make it my goal to re-connect with several more dear friends with whom I've fallen out-of-touch. This action takes alot of courage and guts and puts me in a less-than-comfortable zone. It isn't my norm to try to stay in touch, despite how much I love and adore my long-lost friends. It might be painful, it will likely be awkward, all the phone calls will not go as smoothly and as beautifully as the one with Kim (thank you Kim for being so fucking fantastic and easy to talk with! Damn girl, you killed my cell battery!)  

And every coffee date will not go as pleasantly as the one at the Bean with Andrea (thanks for indulging me in graphic sex discussions at full volume in a local cafe-- Sometimes I feel guilty about being a theatre person because I don't seem to possess a 'quiet' volume and I say whatever the fuck I want to say despite being surrounded by strangers with eyebrows raised.  Thanks, Andrea for laughing instead of cringing!!)

And every old friend may not end up remaing my friend... we may discover we've nothing left in common and have to confine our relatuonship to pleasant memories and be done with it.

But there are many wonderful people that I've known and loved too much to simply surrender it to the fates.  I'm taking my cock in hand and going after them... wait... that makes me sound like a sex offender... ah well, so be it!  Look out for my figurative cock people!!


Julia talked alot to me about Choice, and it is empowering to make the Choice to pursue this endeavor. No matter how uncomfortable or scary or nerve-wracking. It's better, I think, to take the initiative and fall flat on my face than to sigh and shrug and wonder 'what if...'


I think I'll start with my best friend from High School and see where that takes me. Now that I've reconnected with my best friend from AMDA, I feel like the sky's the limit!


Oh, and I also have to work on calling Kim more often... more often than once in three years...yeah :)