Raining Babies?

'Member that song "Its Rainin' Men?" A particular campy favorite of large women and gay men everywhere. Well the chief lyric in that song goes: "Halleluia!" it's rainin men...

Well as I start to swing into hi-gear for danielle's baby shower I've started researching shower ideas, themes, and invites. It seems to be a popular idea to include images of umbrellas on the invites and in the decor.

There was one very cutesy invite that went something like this: "Forecast: Baby Expected, but first there will be a SHOWER!".

I'm not joking.

And Aaron is designing the invites and being an artist he wants to maybe make them in a shape other than standard. "Like, I saw one that was a bootie, and one that was a diaper, and one that was a stroller" he told me "But I obviously want to do something NOT lame..."

So I started thinking of possible shapes. Danielle's theme is Owls, because they are wicked adorable and a little off-the-beaten-path as far as baby themes go. sO I wondered maybe shape the invite like an owl.

Maybe I'll have the owl holding an umbrella?

Then I got back to thinking about the umbrellas.

Maybe shape the invite like an umbrella. Because it's a shower.

Shower... because it's raining... babies? Raining babies sounds horrific! Like some kind of twisted psychotropic nightmare. Aaron was tickled by the idea and had some creative, albeit GORY ideas about raining babies.

Don't the ones without umbrellas look alarmed?

After he was done talking about red smears of color and whatnot, he finally got down to business:

"I think the idea is that it's supposed to rain gifts for the baby" he finally informed me.

"Oh." I felt a little silly. "Well that's not how the expression goes" I argued.

"Well it DOESN'T mean babies are falling all over the place." he insisted, amused at my embarrassment.

"Well that's how the expression goes!" I insisted. "It's raining cat's and dogs!; It's raining money!; It's raining Men"

"Yeah, you're right" he conceded "Rain shower, Snow Storm, Golden Shower, Baby Shower"

"Exactly" I felt triumphant "What is the precipitation? What kind of shower will there be? Oh, Baby. Babies will rain."

So I've canned the umbrella idea because I am uncomfortable with baby sprinkles, wet falling infants, and a storm of children raining from the skies. Should anything so apocalyptic ever go down, I sincerely doubt the response would be "Haleluia". I imagine the reaction would be more akin to screams and obscenities and Baby Showers should feel less like panic in the streets and more like afternoon tea, right?

However I would like to note that since the raining babies imagery popped into my head I believe it is becoming a more apt expression than not. Perhaps not literally, like someone's chuckin' 'em out of helicopters or anything, but right now it seems like SO MANY friggin people around me are expecting!

This always makes me a little manic. Even though it would not be prudent to get myself knocked up right now, I've wanted to have children with the love of my life since I was 14 years old. We have been together for 13 years. Married for 3. I want some kids.

So as delighted as I am for those who are expecting (I really love pregnancies and babies and fertility and all that jazz!), sometimes I go a little batty and can almost feel my ovaries crumbling into dust and my window of opportunity closing like an unrelenting booby-trapped stone wall in indiana jones and I just need to reach back in at the last minute for my damned fedora (which of course symbolizes my unborn potential baby!).

So anyway. Is it raining babies, or is it just my imagination?

Here's a current list, in no particualr order:

Danielle
Rachel
Amanda
Cheryl
Michelle B
Erin
Harmony (just had one)
Georgia
Emily P.
Kerry S.

It seems like every day I open facebook there's a new announcement. Aaron is threatening to divorce me if I turn into "one of those crazy women who is obsessed with having a baby". I think I'll divorce myself if I become too obsessed as well, but damn it feels pretty yucky to know that it honestly may never happen- this thing you've wanted and waited so long for...

Ah well.



Aaron made a mock invite, which is pretty hilarious, and which I adore. I think I'll close with that today.

Oh Hai! We can haz baybeez?