Called out of both jobs today with the intent of getting several things accomplished:
get on a debt management plan
consolidate my federal loans
consolidate my private loans
tidy apartment & make dinner for the man who went to work
make doctor's appt.
go to Costco, get a card, and get some fucking groceries already
Now, on the fragile and wavery edge of tears, /i have accomplished the following:
Begun the process for a debt management plan
Begun the process for federal loan consolidation
Paid many, many creditors the absolute minimum amounts to keep my accounts from going into a lovely thing they call 'charge off', which is a dreadful hell for everyone.
It is 5:30. I've been at this since 8 am. Please note what I have not accomplished.
I am petrified of this debt, of these bills. I work and work and can't make ends meet. I am so scared I want to crawl into a hole and sleep for eternity.
And I did not manage to make dinner, and won't be able to for several reasons:
A) I have not gone to costco for groceries, so we haven't much in the house
b) I was unable to tidy the fucking kitchen
C) I still have to go out to fucking staples to fax a 27 page document to complete the loan consolidation proceedings.
D) I want to cry
Oh, excuse me, that last one wasn't a reason for not making dinner. Not a real one anyway.
Guess what I want to do? Order food. Guess what I now know I have absolutely no money in the budget for after my 2 and a half hour fucking debt-counseling telephone call with a non-profit organization? You guessed it, Take-out!! woo hoo.
I might just fucking do it anyfuckingway. Betterbean.
The it's right back to NO TAKE OUT. No take-out May we'll call it. Or Make your own fun May. Or, Don't forget you're flat broke May! Or, Don't even think about it May!
The lady asked me how much I spend on my clothes budget per month, on average. I told her that I haven't purchased any new clothing for myself in over a year. And this was TRUE. Last thing I purchased for me to wear was a dress and shrug for Katie McGarry's wedding last year. Guess what? I wore it again to andrea's wedding the FOLLOWING APRIL. no lie. So besides a thing or two from Saver's thrift store in there somewhere, that is it. I am a WOMAN who hasn't been clothes or shoe shopping in a fucking year.
She asked how much I spent on nails and hair. I felt like asking her what kind of people usually call in. It's like, look lady, I obviously recognize that I am in serious financial trouble--what then fuck kind of asshole woul I be if I went for hair and nails when I'm clearly oeprating at a pretty alarming deficit? don't get me wrong, I have been sorely tempted... I went so far as to ask danielle where and how much, but I didn't go through with it. BECAUSE I A BUH_ROKE!!!!!
She congratulated me on my restraint.
Thanks.
cheers to me.
ay ay ay.
So I won't go get my hair did, but I will spend whatver I need to spend at fucking staples to fax this happy horseshit, and then I think I'll go get a coupla veggie sandwiches. And eat some goddamn icecream for desert.
thank goodness I made that promise to my husband not to take a bath with the toaster, because today would totally be a good day for it!!!
Know what though? Last night we had the most amazing sex. I swear to christ. It was fucking awesome. I mean, we generally seem to be pretty dynamite in the sack; we enjoy eachother, we're adventurous, we're passioante, we're fun, and we love and trust eachother completely. Sex is elemental to us, foundational, crucial to the healthy functioning of our relationship. so it's always good. hell, orgasming fells good, right? No two ways around that. But last night was just one of those times that melts your toes and curls your hair. And this was on the heels of the previous night, where i awoke in the middle of the night to some seriously spectacualr pleasuring from an amorous spouse. he made me come again and again, and it came out of nowhere! I was asleep, and then I was getting fingerblasted. so. YAY! So i guess i was feeling pretty grateful for that all day, so in the evening after dinner I repaid the favor in all kinds of awesome ways.
Actually, come to think of it, each night this week since the wedding we have been having some pretty snazzy sexcapades. Obviously the drunk sex after the open wine bar at the wedding was great. Sloppy, dirty, animalistic, permissive and kinky.
then sunday was a long goodbye to vacation sort of thing. I spent so much time downtown that i should paid rent! The husband was overfuckingjoyed. And he rewarded me handsomely. Then I think he kept rewarding me with that middle of the night pleasure sesh. Then last night was mutually wonderful. Maybe tonight I'll have him go down to the delta for a good long while. I could certainly use some mega stress relief after the day I've had.
Ok. I guess I needed a few minutes to unwind and write about shit other than financial matters. thanks for tolerating the sexlogue, lol.
Keep your fingers crossed for me about all this debt bullshit!!
get on a debt management plan
consolidate my federal loans
consolidate my private loans
tidy apartment & make dinner for the man who went to work
make doctor's appt.
go to Costco, get a card, and get some fucking groceries already
Now, on the fragile and wavery edge of tears, /i have accomplished the following:
Begun the process for a debt management plan
Begun the process for federal loan consolidation
Paid many, many creditors the absolute minimum amounts to keep my accounts from going into a lovely thing they call 'charge off', which is a dreadful hell for everyone.
It is 5:30. I've been at this since 8 am. Please note what I have not accomplished.
I am petrified of this debt, of these bills. I work and work and can't make ends meet. I am so scared I want to crawl into a hole and sleep for eternity.
And I did not manage to make dinner, and won't be able to for several reasons:
A) I have not gone to costco for groceries, so we haven't much in the house
b) I was unable to tidy the fucking kitchen
C) I still have to go out to fucking staples to fax a 27 page document to complete the loan consolidation proceedings.
D) I want to cry
Oh, excuse me, that last one wasn't a reason for not making dinner. Not a real one anyway.
Guess what I want to do? Order food. Guess what I now know I have absolutely no money in the budget for after my 2 and a half hour fucking debt-counseling telephone call with a non-profit organization? You guessed it, Take-out!! woo hoo.
I might just fucking do it anyfuckingway. Betterbean.
The it's right back to NO TAKE OUT. No take-out May we'll call it. Or Make your own fun May. Or, Don't forget you're flat broke May! Or, Don't even think about it May!
The lady asked me how much I spend on my clothes budget per month, on average. I told her that I haven't purchased any new clothing for myself in over a year. And this was TRUE. Last thing I purchased for me to wear was a dress and shrug for Katie McGarry's wedding last year. Guess what? I wore it again to andrea's wedding the FOLLOWING APRIL. no lie. So besides a thing or two from Saver's thrift store in there somewhere, that is it. I am a WOMAN who hasn't been clothes or shoe shopping in a fucking year.
She asked how much I spent on nails and hair. I felt like asking her what kind of people usually call in. It's like, look lady, I obviously recognize that I am in serious financial trouble--what then fuck kind of asshole woul I be if I went for hair and nails when I'm clearly oeprating at a pretty alarming deficit? don't get me wrong, I have been sorely tempted... I went so far as to ask danielle where and how much, but I didn't go through with it. BECAUSE I A BUH_ROKE!!!!!
She congratulated me on my restraint.
Thanks.
cheers to me.
ay ay ay.
So I won't go get my hair did, but I will spend whatver I need to spend at fucking staples to fax this happy horseshit, and then I think I'll go get a coupla veggie sandwiches. And eat some goddamn icecream for desert.
thank goodness I made that promise to my husband not to take a bath with the toaster, because today would totally be a good day for it!!!
Know what though? Last night we had the most amazing sex. I swear to christ. It was fucking awesome. I mean, we generally seem to be pretty dynamite in the sack; we enjoy eachother, we're adventurous, we're passioante, we're fun, and we love and trust eachother completely. Sex is elemental to us, foundational, crucial to the healthy functioning of our relationship. so it's always good. hell, orgasming fells good, right? No two ways around that. But last night was just one of those times that melts your toes and curls your hair. And this was on the heels of the previous night, where i awoke in the middle of the night to some seriously spectacualr pleasuring from an amorous spouse. he made me come again and again, and it came out of nowhere! I was asleep, and then I was getting fingerblasted. so. YAY! So i guess i was feeling pretty grateful for that all day, so in the evening after dinner I repaid the favor in all kinds of awesome ways.
Actually, come to think of it, each night this week since the wedding we have been having some pretty snazzy sexcapades. Obviously the drunk sex after the open wine bar at the wedding was great. Sloppy, dirty, animalistic, permissive and kinky.
then sunday was a long goodbye to vacation sort of thing. I spent so much time downtown that i should paid rent! The husband was overfuckingjoyed. And he rewarded me handsomely. Then I think he kept rewarding me with that middle of the night pleasure sesh. Then last night was mutually wonderful. Maybe tonight I'll have him go down to the delta for a good long while. I could certainly use some mega stress relief after the day I've had.
Ok. I guess I needed a few minutes to unwind and write about shit other than financial matters. thanks for tolerating the sexlogue, lol.
Keep your fingers crossed for me about all this debt bullshit!!
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