Hangovers, hang-ups, and haning out!

So it is the weekend.  At last.

The job is really wearing on me.  Well.  The three jobs are really wearing on me.  Especially because between the three of them I can't seem to make ends meet, and I kinda don't have any more hours to get yet another job; not if I also want to devote any time to things like sleeping, my husband, eating, decompressing, or even more importantly: the ongoing job search to obtain a real ass job.

I drank alot last night, so please fogive this brevity.  My head hurts, my eyes ache, and I don't feel especially witty, clever, or insightful.  Which is not to say that my un-hungover blogs promise to be especially witty, clever, or insightful; only that on normal days I can convince myself into believing that I am witty, clever or insightful. 

I shoulda tried CoolMike's hangover remedy hours ago.  Now I'm just rundown, achey and uninspired, lol.

Ugh.  My fucking TEETH hurt.

Other parts of me are pleasantly sore too, but no complaints there, only gratitude.  I needed to be fucked like a cheap whore and was obliged.  More times than I have clear recollection of.... Contented sighs and tender tenderbits.

I will put a healthy, wholesome veg sandwich in my body later, and maybe some best coffee in town, and in my soul I will deposit friendship and fun times, as we will be visiting the pigeon coop laters.  My bestie and I have sooooooo much to catch up on!  I always look forward to her sound advice, her unique perspective and her unconditional support.  I love her to pieces and it has been far too long since we got to hang.

Plus!  I get to see the Bean and Mr. Pigeon as well, so it will be a fun time had by all.

I'm a teacher without a classroom

A director without a cast*

I'm a writer without a book deal

A mother without a child

I'm a dreamer without a vision

an actor without a role

and I'm waiting.

And I'm resenting.

And I'm scurrying and scratching and selling myself.

And I'm going round in circles and I'm drowning in demands.

I'm a woman without definition

a girl without a spine

I'm a traveler without a ticket

a leader without a flock

I'm an observer without a subject

and a scribe without a thought

I'm a speaker without a voice

a singer without a song

and I'm lost.

And I'm losing.

And I'm desolate and desperate and dead in places.

And I'm wrestling with weariness and I'm looking for an exit,

And I'm giving in to pressures and I'm wasting my potential

And I'm choking on maturity and dying of malaise

I am a soul without redemtion

a heart without a beat.

Oooh.  Hungover poetry.  how terribly cliched!  how abysmally mediocre. Don't know where the FUCK that shit sprang from.  Please, enjoy!


*(only partly true, actually~ I am directing three shows presently, but none of them truly feel like MINE)