Fools

Kids love April Fool's Day.  But Kids are really really bad at April Fool's Day. 

They come up with outrageous claims, they deliver these whoppers with wide sparkling grins, and barely let a breath pass before shouting: APRIL FOOLS!!

My favorite kndergartener today:

Hi Miss Donadlson-AprilFools!

Me:  Hi Kate.  April Fools.  You Got Me.

Kate:  GuessWhat?  Our classroom is covered in pee----APRIL FOOLS!

Me: Gross.

Kate:  There's a monster in the clasroom too.  And Pee.  APRIL FOOLS.

Me: Yikes.  April Fools.  See Ya Kate.

High Schoolers are way better.  This adorable little girl was bent double on the stairs and nearly in tears as I walked by her.

"Hey Hun, you ok?"
Girl: "My stomach."  She says. "It hurts so much!"
Followed by WILD but very REALISTIC sounding flatulence.  Ok.  Oh god.  I don't really handle this sort of thing well, but I kept cool.  She seemed really embarrassed as she tried to walk quickly down the stairs in apparent agony.  "Oh my god, my stomach, it hurts, I just need to get to the nurse."

"Ok hun."  I tell her in a soothing voice, all while she's breaking wind like a fucking 90 year old after the senior citizen's buffet.  "The bathroom's closer-- do you think you'd rather do that or try to make it to the nurse?"

I decide to stick by her and sort of sheild her from any would-be teasing.  She's obviously mortified and desperate.  So these awful noises keep coming from her and she looks like she's melting in embarrassment, and just  before we get to te nurse she straightens up and declares "April Fools Miss!"

Several stink bombs, many lame jokes, many silly pranks and finally I am home.

Happy April fools.