wait and see

I had a wonderful day today. It is very late and I really must get to bed, but I want to sort of bookmark this day so I promise myself I'll write about it asap. But one of the things that happened was a wonderful lunchdate with my very good friend Julia, who is dutifully making her way through the forest of my backlogs, reading my writing and insisting we discuss it no matter how I try to deflect, distract, or dance around the subject.

She is a wonderful friend. I am so very lucky to have such amazing friends. Thank you ladies for following, accepting, encouraging, enjoying and allowing me to experiment here. I love you so very much.

Julia is an empowering person and I always leave her company ready to take on the world and ready to re-think alot of things that I'd over-looked or glanced over.

She posed the dreaded question though, and I openly admit that I'm not prepared to deal with it. Not ready to deal with even exploring the options, let alone finding the answers.

Where is this going? Do I want to be a writer?

She observed that I light-up when talking about this crazy blog, that I become animated and passionate. And she knows very well my woes about teaching and such too.

And I admit, I am super jazzed about this project. I am crushing on writing. But is it true love? will writing stick by me and put up with me when I'm a mess? Or is it a fairweather friend? A fling, nothing serious.

Like a fragile new relationship I am resolutely refusing to put too much pressure on it or talk about the future too much. Its exciting to think of the possibilities, but it is equally as terrifying so I am really really going to let this be what it is for now, see how it develops and then go from there.

What I know is this: I'm having more fun than I can remember having in a long time. Also, writing has made me generally more cheerful about other aspects of my life, too, so that's a good thing I think.

But the thought of bringing it to a third-party? an editor (who doesn't know me and love me), that is terrifying and I shut down and die a little, so let's not talk about commitment shall we? Let's just let it be organic.

Lets see where it goes?

This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship...