Mastery?

I graduate today. I haven't alot of time so I just want to express how happy I am to have my Master's and also express how startlingly empty I feel.

Strange isn't it?

I'm enormously proud, I loved my time at Emerson, and thrilled to be a master and yet today's impending commencement feels more like an inconvenience than anything else. I feel uneasy and bothered by the whole thing and I kinda wish I hadn't decided to walk.

Except that I earned it, you know? And I want to see all my peers, my firends, my emerson colleagues.

only I don't know if that's true or if that's just how I'm supposed to feel.

Anyway I'm kinda avoiding getting ready right now. I shaved my legs but now I don't seem to have enough energy to do my make-up or get dressed.

Erg.

I should be happy, and that "should" makes it all the more unacceptable that I am not. Maybe I'll perk up when I've got my spanks on and my hair did.