One hears such sounds and what can one think but 'Salieri'!

Ever notice how some people's compliments are really the most discouraging thing you could hear?

Some compliments are so genuine, so enthusiastic and so completely not bull-shit that they uplift you, bolster you and encourage you to keep going. Thank you to all of you who give those kinds of compliments. Those are also the kind of friend or mentor that are likely to give you really effective constructive criticism if they have it- the kind that honestly help you improve your work and inspires you to muddle through to a really commendable end-product.

Lately I've been perturbed by the hollow ring of some compliments in my life and it has proven more effective at discouraging me than if someone had said : "you suck, stop doing what you're doing and just give up!"

It feels condescending. Indulgent. As if I'm a little kid with a messy, incoherent, overall unappealing conglomeration of popcicle sticks, glitter and yarn and an adult says: "ohhh, very nice! I LIKE that!".




No they fucking don't like that. Maybe they like the idea of it, like that the child has been creative and had a fun time making it, but do they honestly find merit in the work itself? In the execution of the popscicle arrangement or the concentration of glitter particle in the upper left corner or the carefully chosen shade of fuzzy magenta yarn? Nope. Their compliment is shallow. Encoraging only superficially. Crack that compliment open and what you really get is: "don't quit your day job!".

So I'll probably lay off the creative writing for a while. Ewww. Whatever. Hopefully I'll stick with the blogging- my quest to find my voice is still in its zygote stage here! Just... well... it'll be me and not fiction. grrrrrr.

And about that day job... i fucking need one!