Ok.  So I know, I know.  Now that I have a CF blog I should no longer post here. BUT.  But I wrote this vignette a while ago and I'd like to post it today, on Valentine's.  It is, of course, out of order, but not too far off from where I left you with Maggie & Grey if anyon'es all caught up (Danielle?  Maybe?).  But whatevs.  I just wanna, so I'm gunna.  I reserve that right, right? Right.

So Happy Valentine's!

***************

Velvet was happy Grey and Maggie had decided to join them at the main house for the annual Valentine’s Day breakfast.  She would have understood had they decided to keep to themselves in the guest house.  She smiled as she reached for the blackberry preserve.

It was a peculiar holiday to make into a family holiday, she supposed, but it had everything to do with Grey so it seemed fitting that he’d decided to come and had brought his beautiful bride.

Velvet spread a thin layer of preserve across her already buttered toast and sighed contentedly, thinking of her first Valentine’s Day with Jonah.  She’d been a new mother, a divorcee, and pretty newly engaged to boot.  They were still living in the townhouse with the yellow door in the old factory district, still living with Nolan. 

She’d overheard a conversation between the brothers late the night before, while Jonah was up feeding Grey; and Nolan, just getting home from work at the bar, was unwinding and keeping his brother company. It was a comfortable routine.  Velvet lay in bed and listened to their conversation in the common area.  ‘I can take care of a baby for a night, Jones, really, it isn’t a big deal.’ Nolan was insisting.  ‘This is your first Valentine’s’ he’d lectured, trying to convince Jonah to take her out for a proper date.

Grey’d wailed then, for a few moments, and the conversation waited until he’d settled in once again and was suckling on his bottle contentedly.

“He doesn’t look sleepy at all.”  Commented Nolan adoringly.

“He’s a night owl.”  Jonah agreed indulgently.

Velvet loved what softies those two men were for babies.  Maybe because their parents had had their younger brother so late in life.  They were both great with Grey.  She was always grateful for the way Nolan not only adjusted to living with a young couple who were raising a new baby, but actually seemed to enjoy it.  Uncle Nolan was very much a part of their little family. “Maybe he’ll grow up to be a bartender like his Uncle.”  He posited and she heard Jonah chuckle low.

“Thanks, Nole, really, but I think I want to do a family style Valentine’s.”  He said after a few moments of what sounded like Nolan playing some version of peek-a-boo with the baby.

“You sure?”  Nolan sounded skeptical.

“Yeah.”  Jonah’d replied, yawning.  “Breakfast in bed, maybe an indoor picnic, cuddling on the couch and just, whatever she needs.”  He said.  “Besides, you don’t want to miss the bank you’ll make tending bar on Valentine’s.”

Velvet heard Nolan grunt.  “Tell the truth I was kinda looking forward to avoiding all those sad, lonely, desperate girls.”  She heard the water in the kitchen sink and knew he was rinsing his plate and silverware from the microwaved leftovers they’d saved him from their dinner.

“Have breakfast with us, then, in the morning.” Offered Jonah, and Velvet could hear the honest enthusiasm in his voice. 

“Oh, I dunno—“

“Yeah, please? Get up and have breakfast with us as a family.  I’ll make whatever you want.”

“Jones, C’mon, spend it with your family.”  Nolan said gently.

“You’re part of my family.” Jonah insisted.  “Huh, Grey? Don’t you think Uncle Nolan should be present at the first annual Delaney Family Valentine’s Day Breakfast?” Said Jonah, cooing at the months-old baby he was feeding.

Nolan laughed.  “Don’t use the kid as leverage, you asshole.”

“Hey, delicate ears over here.” Jonah said, chuckling.  “Grey thinks you should be there.  And I agree.”

They were quiet for a moment before Nolan said very quietly: “And your fiancée?”

Velvet flushed in the way one does when eavesdropping and the talk turns to oneself.  She tried to make herself even more still than she already was and strained to hear the much-lowered voices.

“She loves you Nolan.” Jonah was saying.  “No, she does—she thinks you’re great and she loves how you are with Grey, Nole, she’d want you there.”

“It’s Valentine’s Day—“

“Yeah, and the last one she had was with that son of a bitch—“

“Hey, impressionable ears!”  Nolan interrupted, teasing.

“ --And I don’t ever want this holiday to remind her of him in the least.  I’m not doing the usual stuff with her on this day.  Not ever.”

“I dunno if you have any control over how she feels or doesn’t feel about the man, my friend.”

“Knock it off.”

“Jonah, just—“

“Just what?  How many times are you going to say it Nolan?  I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I just want you to be careful.” Nolan said with a heavy sigh.  “People can’t just be expected to fall out of love with no strings attached, no confused feelings—“

In the dark of the bedroom she shared with Jonah, Velvet’s mouth fell open at Nolan’s veiled accusation.  And then she washed over cold because of how frighteningly close to the mark he’d come.

 “Nolan, she likes you, why can’t you give her a chance?”

“She’s great!”  Nolan insisted defensively.  “This isn’t about that, this is about you and how I don’t want to see you hurt.”

“I love her.” Jonah responded simply.  “She’s going to be my wife.”  He added as Nolan stayed quiet.  “We have a son.”

“He’s pretty great.” Nolan acknowledged, and Velvet could hear the smile in his voice.

Velvet heard the decisive pop of the bottle leaving Grey’s mouth and a contented gurgling.

“All done?” Jonah asked the boy incredulously.  “Think I should give him more?”

After a few moments she heard the refrigerator open.

“Bad luck, Brother.” Nolan said.  “You’ll have to bring him to the source, because you’re out of pumped stuff.”

“Dammit.”  Jonah said in a sing-song sort of voice, clearly entertaining the baby.  “Check the freezer?” She heard a raspberry sound that made the baby chuckle and burble appreciatively.

The Fridge door closed as the freezer door pulled open.

“Yeah.  It’ll take a while to thaw though, even doing the warm water.”  She heard Nolan yawn as he pulled a heavy glass mixing bowl across the surface of the counter and turn on the faucet again.

“Go ahead to bed Nole, I got it.”

“It’s not a problem—“ Another yawn.

Jonah groaned a little as she heard him getting up off the couch with the baby. “Goodnight.” He said, more firmly. “You need a good night’s sleep if you’re gunna get up and have family breakfast with us.”

“Jonesie—“

“Say g’night to Uncle Nole, Grey!”

Nolan had finally grunted his agreement and Velvet had drifted off to sleep sometime later, Jonah still up singing silly little made-up lullabies and playing the simple little games you play with babies, and when she awoke next it was to the heavenly aroma of fresh coffee and sizzling bacon and something cinnamon-y baking in the oven.  And to the sounds of animated, if quiet, conversation and the happy chipper sounds of the baby playing with the electronic light-up toys in his play seat. 

Now, 24 years later, she still got a little misty at the memory of walking out into the open-concept kitchen\living\dining area of the old brick townhouse and experiencing the first-ever Delaney Family Valentine’s Day Breakfast.

“—more, Velvet?” 

Velvet blinked and then flushed slightly.  Whoops.  She’d been caught day-dreaming.  “I’m sorry?”

Jonah stood beside her chair with the glass pitcher of fresh-squeezed orange juice.  “I asked if you’d like any more.”  He told her gently.  “Happy Valentine’s Day, Wife.” He added quietly, in a way that made her think maybe he knew exactly where she’d wandered off to just then. 

She grinned up at him and then looked around the table at her family.  They were all there—Viola, looking bleary eyed and grumpy as a teenager should, the twins, both in their glasses because it was way too early to think about putting in contacts, Even Avalon had decided to come and she’d somehow convinced Ben of the endeavor, and the handsome young man was enduring it gracefully, she thought.  And, of course, Grey with Maggie. 

Velvet had asked Nolan, when he’d married Zahra, if he would keep coming over to their place—She and Jonah had moved out of the townhouse when they’d married, but he’d made the early morning trip over to their new place annually—for the traditional breakfast.  He’d smiled, said he would miss them very much, but that it was time to start his own family traditions. 

She wondered what that Delaney bunch did on this day.  She’d never thought to inquire.  And Caleb sometimes joined them, but this Valentine’s was especially prickly and he couldn’t be convinced to crawl out of bed this time around to celebrate ‘that idiot cupid’. 

But she had her family, and that made her warm and contented.

“No, thank you, Sweetheart.”  She said in response to the juice query, and he moved around the table to offer to Avalon and Ben.

She listened to Maggie discussing the wedding with Ava, and to the twins teasing their father about the silver at his temples, and to Grey trying to pull his youngest sister out of her moody teenager-y gloom with humor, and she turned to Ben, who was sipping his coffee and casting his glance about, looking for a conversation to join.

She leaned over to him and confided: “I wasn’t a Delaney at my first Delaney Family Valentine’s breakfast either, you know.”

He lowered the coffee mug from his lips and smiled.  “No?”

She shook her head and giggled.  “Grey wasn’t either, I guess, come to think of it.”  She added thoughtfully, realizing that while Jonah’s intent was clear from before Grey’d been born, she hadn’t actually processed the papers until he was around six months old.

“I wasn’t what?”  Grey asked sharply, always able to hear his name when spoken in a crowd.

“A Delaney, at the first Valentine’s day.”  She answered, throwing a contrite look at Jonah who was leaning in to ask Viola about more orange juice, the very idea of which seemed to make the girl faintly ill. 

“Ah.”  Said Grey in response and met eyes with Maggie.   Velvet followed his gaze and saw Maggie nod marginally and nibble her lower lip.  “Funny you should bring that up.”  Grey said, rising from his seat and going to stand behind Maggie’s chair.

The table quieted down and everybody was watching Grey curiously.  Velvet felt a hand on her own shoulder and looked up to see Jonah smiling a little, captivated by Grey.

“Because, this time next year there will be another Delaney with us.”

Velvet looked at Ben for a moment before remembering that Ben wouldn’t become a Delaney, Avalon would be becoming a Sinclair.  She looked back at Grey, who seemed to be locked in a challenging gaze with Jonah, and then at Maggie who didn’t seem able to meet anyone’s eyes.

The hand on her shoulder squeezed gently and she looked up, puzzled.  Then the hand was gone and Jonah was crossing around the breakfast table to where Grey stood, and extending the hand for a shake.  “Congratulations, Son!”  He said warmly “That’s wonderful news!”  Velvet watched him pull Grey into a hearty embrace and then kiss the boy’s cheek before pulling Maggie from her seat, hugging her and bending to kiss her cheek as well.  “Congratulations.”  He said again.

“Thank you.”  Maggie said shyly, still hardly able to keep her eyes off the table. 

“When are you Due?”  Velvet heard Avalon ask sharply.

Maggie looked at Grey, who smiled easily at his sister.  “Summer.”  He replied vaguely, but in a tone that did not invite follow-up.

“Due?”  Velvet heard herself ask. And she felt all eyes upon her, even Maggie’s. 

Jonah chuckled into the tense stillness of the kitchen.  “She’s in shock.”  He said pleasantly. “Can you blame her?  She’s still far too young to be a grandmother.”  He said, crossing back and kissing her atop her head, before whispering in her ear “Love, Our son is going to be a father.”

Her eyebrows lifted in the middle and her mouth opened in an ‘o’.  “Grey?”

Grey met her eyes and his lips quirked into something like a smile, his expression almost bittersweet.  “Surprised?”

“Maggie?”

Maggie blushed and smiled weakly at her mother-in-law and gave a little nod of affirmation.

Velvet knew, for certain, in that moment, that he’d married her because she’d gotten pregnant; and the image of Vaughan Grey’s arrogant, selfish face swam, unbidden, to the forefront of her mind and she quite suddenly began to weep uncontrollably.

“Velvet?”  Jonah’s voice was all concern and Grey’s joined in, “Mum?  Are you alright?”

Soon others at the table were asking, Jonah had Ava put the kettle on for more tea and Velvet felt ridiculous.  It was as if someone had pushed a button and opened floodgates.  She felt foolish and embarrassed and perfectly awful for ruining the big announcement.

“I’m so happy!”  She managed to force out through chattering teeth and sobs, earning nervous laughter from a few parties around the table.  Jonah knelt beside her chair and gathered her against him and she sobbed into his neck.  “I’m so happy.”  She repeated as he patted her back soothingly.

Dimly she was aware that Ben Sinclair had helped ease the awkwardness by getting out of his seat and going over to the opposite side of the table to congratulate the couple, which cued all her daughters to follow suit.

By the time all the family had congratulated them Velvet had managed to get herself mostly under control.  She sat up a little straighter, took her head from her husband’s shoulder and hastily swiped the wetness from her cheeks.  Sniffling and forcing herself to take reasonable breaths she smiled a watery smile at Jonah.  Her rock.  Her everything.  “I’m so sorry.”  She whispered and he smiled.

“Don’t you dare.”  He warned her playfully.  “Now go hug your son and daughter, Grandma.” 

Her eyes widened and she half giggled-half sobbed.  He helped her to her feet and when she was steady she practically flew at Maggie, wrapping the girl in a startlingly fierce embrace.  “This is absolutely wonderful.”  She told the girl passionately, holding her close, wanting to tell her so much more than was appropriate to do so in the kitchen, with all the family gathered around.  “Thank you.”  She said, pulling back enough to look deep into the girl’s dark eyes.  She wondered if the girl was frightened, or regretted her condition.  “Oh Maggie!”  She exhaled.  “I love you so much.”  And she squeezed her again, feeling the bonds of a kindred spirit, even if the poor girl was flummoxed by the overpowering surge of affection.  “And this baby will be everything to you, trust me.”  She said in an almost whisper.

“Gracias.”  Maggie said, reflexively slipping into Spanish with the heightened emotion.  “Thank you.”  She corrected shakily.

Between Jonah’s efforts and Ben’s too, the kitchen was soon bubbling with animated conversations.  Velvet heard the twins arguing playfully about whether it would be a boy or a girl, Viola wondered when, exactly it would be due, and Avalon made some comment about bridesmaid’s dresses. 

Still clinging to Maggie, Velvet felt a hand on her back and knew it wasn’t her husband.  Almost regretfully she released Maggie at last and, with a last reassuring smile that she tried to fill with all the subtext she couldn’t speak just now, Velvet spun to face her son.

He was so tall and handsome and grown up.  He looked like his father, only his eyes, her eyes, were kinder, she was sure of it.  She took his handsome face in her hands and searched those pale green eyes, trying to discover the truth that was eluding her.  “You’ve got to be good to her Grey.”  She told him at last, and she watched his bemused smile dissolve and his face grow serious.

“I know.”  He replied in a low voice.

“Grey—“

“I understand, Mum.”  He said curtly, his brows heavy over his eyes.

She swallowed and felt a trembling in her knees.  She hoped he did understand.  She hoped he would prove to be more Jonah’s son than Vaughan’s.  She pulled him into an embrace too, though this one was more guarded, wary. 

When she broke the hug she hitched a super-bright smile in place and declared with her signature verve: “We’ll have to have a baby shower!”

Love at First Sight; First Date

Warning to the reader:  this one is a long one.  I looked it over again and again and tried to cut it up into segments, but I really like it the way it is, so read at your own pace.

I heart heart heart this one, and it being monday morning, I figured I could use a little smile and love before i head out to work ;)

In case you missed it, check out Love at First Sight parts one and two and also the prologue to this little storyline, I Think I Owe You an Apology!  i am in a wicked rush or else I'd link those for you, but just look over to the side they have all been posted in the last few days or so.  Sorry for the rush!  Full time jobs are a drag on proper blogging!

enjoy,

**********************

Nolan tried to look casual as he paced listlessly to and fro before the wide wooden steps of the park’s picturesque, grand-sized gazebo.  Couples strolled by, hand in hand, talking sweet and low, stealing small kisses.  A group of giggling teenaged girls were jabbering away about some boys they liked—they could apparently see them over near the baseball diamond from their vantage point on the sturdy wooden surround railing of the gazebo.  A father and his boy were stealing every minute of the fading summer sun to toss a few more frisbees to their athletic and very enthusiastic yellow lab.

It was seven-thirty-five, last time he checked his watch.  Which was less than a minute ago.  He’d been early, in the first place, and had been checking his watch every few minutes since seven-fifteen. 

He resisted the urge to run his fingers through his hair.  He’d spent close to fifteen minutes on his hair getting ready, and he didn’t want it to look weird or crazy when she showed up.  If she showed up.

Glumly he re-visited the moment of panic he’d had at the playground earlier that day while talking to his brother about his plans for the evening. 

“So, any plans to see her again?”  Jonah had asked pleasantly.  His brother had spent the last half hour listening and helping Nolan work through what had proven to be one of the most amazing encounters of his life.

“Tonight.”  Nolan said, with a smile.

“Nice work.”  Jonah replied, eyebrows high.  “You’re not wasting a moment with this one.”

Nolan smiled at his hands.  “I know.”  He chuckled.  “It just.  It came out of my mouth.”

“Picnic in the park?”  Jonah guessed.

Nolan massaged the back of his neck.  “Ummm, no, actually.”  He said, still a little amazed at the deviation from his normal routine.  “Bella at eight.”

Jonah made a low whistle.  “Well, well, well.”  He uttered.  Jonah knew Nolan probably better than Nolan knew himself.  And this was far from standard operating procedure.  “That’s quite a first date, Brother.”  He commented without judgment.

Nolan ruffled his hair and shook his head, still feeling dazed and not quite himself at all.  “No kidding.”  He said.  “I don’t know what came over me.  I just.  It popped into my head and I said it and it feels right.”  He ran a play-by-play of the afternoon’s events over and over in his head.  “I mean, not that she’d be the type to object to the park date or anything…actually I bet she’d like it a lot…Oh Jesus, do you think I made a mistake?”

Jonah chuckled merrily.  “Relax.”  He soothed, and clapped him on the back gently.  “You said it felt right, don’t second guess yourself.”

Nolan took a breath and tried to take his brother’s advice. He watched, only half paying attention, as Jonah got up and gently reprimanded his daughter about ‘how we share’ in the sandbox.  Viola looked decidedly grumpy about the reminder that not all toys were her toys.  Jonah kissed the girl on the top of her head and stretched his legs fully when he stood back up.  He had a few words with the mother of the other toddler, shared a laugh, then rejoined Nolan on the park bench.

“So, you let Len know you need a table?  Bella fills up pretty quick around eight.”  Jonah inquired, stretching his long legs out in front of him, his eyes scanning the play structure for the twins.  He gave a little wave as one of them streaked by, shouting something about wolves.  It seemed to be some kind of tag game.

“He was there, at the shore, I mean, so, yeah—I gave him the heads up.”

Jonah adjusted his glasses and crossed his arms over his chest, looking contented, relaxed, and maybe nostalgic.  “Mmhmm.  And what’d he say?  Len?”

Nolan narrowed his eyes, trying to think back—he could hardly focus on anything besides her… besides the incredible woman he’d just met.  “Um.  Oh.”  Nolan half-laughed.  “He, uh, he goes: ‘so she’s the one’.”  He looked at his brother, sure that Jonah would be ready to gently quell the hope that was rising like a damn geyser at the thought that this girl, Zahra, could be—well—it.

But Jonah didn’t appear ready to quell.  Instead he turned to Nolan with a soft smile.  “My thoughts exactly.”  He said quietly.  “You going to tell her about everything?  How it was almost yours?  The whole thing?”

Nolan frowned.  He hadn’t thought that far ahead.  But, if he leveled with himself, why the hell else would he choose that restaurant?  That is, unless he sort of planned to share that part of his life with someone.  Had he sub-consciously chosen the winery for that reason?  What sense did that make?  Did he want to impress her?  Was it impressive to tell someone: ’See all this?  All this was almost mine…’  Not especially.  Infact, he usually hated to bring it up at all.  Many of the girls he’d dated never knew about it, not even the ones he’d been pretty serious with.  The winery was Len’s, Len deserved it, he ran it well, Len was one of his best friends, he was happy for Len, so what the fuck? 

“I don’t know.”  Nolan said very slowly.  “I can’t seem to keep a single thought to myself around her.  She has this way of looking at me that just, I don’t know, presses the ‘let’s be perfectly open and completely frank’ button.” 

Jonah quirked an eyebrow.

“I told her flat out that she’s the most attractive person I’ve ever met and that I’ve never met anyone like her.”

“Oh boy.  All the cards on the table.”  Jonah remarked, droll and sympathetic.

“I know—real suave.”  Nolan said, bitterly disappointed with himself.

“Love does funny things to people.”  Jonah reasoned.  “And falling in-love?  Forget about it.”

Nolan’s heart flipped and he felt light all over.  “I’ve loved people before.”  He said, trying to figure it all out.

“Sure.”  Jonah said, ready to play sounding-board to help his brother sort through everything.  It certainly wasn’t a role the guy was unaccustomed to.  As a bartender Nolan existed as a listener, a sounding-board, chief confessor, and sympathetic ear.  But when Nolan needed a bartender type back-and-forth, he always went to Jonah.

“I mean, Brenna, right?  I loved Brenna.” 

“Yes.  You did.”  Jonah affirmed.

“We loved eachother.  We were good together.”  Nolan couldn’t understand how he’d lived all this time, had all these relationships, and never felt, in all that time, even a fraction of what the sight and sound and smell of Zahra Keerthani had done to him that afternoon.

“You and Brenna were very good together.”  Jonah agreed pleasantly.

“I could have married Brenna.  We’d have been a good partnership.”  Nolan pressed.

“Sure.”  Jonah said.

But.  Nolan sat there, consternated. 

“But?”  Jonah pushed gently, saying what Nolan was thinking.

“But I was never in-love with her.”  Nolan finished rather numbly.

Jonah didn’t speak, just nodded. 

“Same with Autumn.”  He said, kind of amazed.

Jonah nodded again.  “I thought you might propose to Autumn for a while there.”

“It was an option I was thinking about, but then she met Graham.”  Nolan said, distractedly.  Autumn had come to him, told him that she’d met someone and fallen in love.  She hadn’t lied about it, hadn’t cheated, but she unexpectedly fell head over heels with a nice guy from the business park, and begged him to forgive her, but she just needed to see if Graham was, as she suspected, her soulmate.  Nolan hadn’t been angry at all.  He’d been sad, maybe, but not angry, or jealous, or resentful.  He’d kissed her on the cheek—he cared about her, afterall—and told her to go be happy. 

She’d married Graham a few summers back.  She’d asked Nolan to give a reading at the wedding.  He was genuinely happy for them.

“And Eden, in high school, I loved Eden.”

Jonah laughed.  “Yes Nolan, we’ve established that you have the capacity to love.”  He grinned.  “You’re a good guy.  You care about all the girls you date.  The real question is: Why are you so puzzled right now, in this moment?”  He probed.  “What’s different this time?”  He asked it like he already knew the answer, but wanted to guide Nolan to finding the realization on his own.

Nolan got up from the bench and paced.  He thought better when he paced.

“I don’t know if I’ve ever been in-love before.  Ever.  Fallen in love.”

Jonah smiled a sympathetic sort of smile.  “Weightless?  Breathless?  Dazed?  More attracted than you’ve ever been to anybody?

Nolan nodded, wide eyed.

His brother chuckled and looked back out over the playground.

“Genny!” Jonah’s stern voice carried over the playground as if he had a built-in bullhorn.  You don’t survive as an elementary school teacher without learning to project over the cacophony of a crowd of kids shrieking and laughing and gabbing away, and you don’t cut it as an elementary school teacher unless when you do speak you can do it with authority.  Even Nolan froze, and he’d bet plenty of other kids, whose names weren’t Genny, did so as well.  “We don’t climb up the slide.  Slides are for sliding down.”  He impressed firmly.  Nolan glanced over, watched his niece carefully turn around on the inclined plane, sit her bottom down, and swoosh to the end, looking properly chastised.  “Thank you.”  Her father called, but his subtext was ‘that’s better, young lady.’

Nolan smiled a ghost of a smile.  “How did you know?  With Velvet.  How did you know?”  He was standing behind the bench so he could pace, but he held still and watched Jonah’s face carefully for reactions.

“Know?”

“That you wanted…That she was …”  Nolan couldn’t bring himself to say it because he had this funny sense that maybe he’d jinx something, or maybe he was being a total fucking idiot and making a big deal out of something that was an anomaly but not necessarily an indicator of any kind.  He felt a bit like a lunatic even thinking about marrying someone he’d met just over an hour ago, let alone speaking the certifiable notion aloud.

Jonah showed him mercy, didn’t make him say it.  “The minute, and I mean the very minute I laid eyes on her that day, I thought she was the most beautiful creature I’d ever seen in my life.”  He said, completely unashamed of how sappy he sounded.  Well, and it wasn’t like the entire town wouldn’t largely agree with him, Velvet was, and always had been, an exceptional beauty. 

“But.  Love?”  Nolan braced his hands on the back of the bench and leaned over it a little, stretching his hamstrings just to keep busy.

“I think I fell in love with her in the same moment.”  He said.  “Our circumstance is tied into all that high drama though—“  He reminded Nolan.  “I was walking away from the sight of her husband having a very public affair, and she was about to stumble blindly upon it.”  Jonah shook his head.  “Then, when it all, when everything happened and she needed someone...”  He went quiet. 

“Dadeeeeeeeeeeee-ee!”  Shrieked Viola from the sandbox. 

Jonah looked over sharply.  “What is it Button?”

“Oohk!”  She pointed to an amorphous pile of sand in front of her, decorated with a green plastic shovel, stuck in at a weird angle, and sprinkled liberally with grass she’d torn up from the area beside the sandbox.  She was glowing with pride.

“Oh, that’s beautiful.”  He told her effusively.  “Did you build that?”

She nodded emphatically and made a happy ‘hnnnnnnn’ sound about it.  Then she began a round of applause for the accomplishment.  Jonah and Nolan both responded automatically, adding their more adept applause to her enthusiastic splayed-finger clapping, and complimented her work warmly.

“Haii!”  She added when she was satisfied with the applause and praise.

“Hi!”  The brothers replied on cue.

She waved and happily went back to her task, which now involved demolishing the sculpture she’d just built to make way for something new.

“So you just…knew?”  Puzzled Nolan quietly.  He needed more.  This was all so fucking nebulous.  Jonah Shrugged and gave a nod.  “But.”  ERRG!   This was wildly frustrating.  “How?  What did it feel like?”

Jonah tucked his chin to his chest and ‘hmphed’ in thought.  “Like it was my right.”  He answered carefully, his mind working to translate the feelings he’d had close to a decade previous.  “To touch her, to hold her—my duty and responsibility to protect her and defend her honor.”  Jonah ran an index finger back and forth under his chin.  “It felt…perfectly right to touch her, to kiss her, to be with her, despite the fact that until that moment we had been strangers.”  His brother’s purple eyes looked up.  “But, exciting and intoxicating, nevertheless.”

Nolan broke the gaze and set to pacing again while he processed this.  While he tried to apply Jonah’s experience to his own, tried to measure his encounter to Jonah’s rubric, Jonah got up, had some words with one of the twins on the playground (looked like he was making her apologize to some little black boy for some offense she’d caused.), and when he came back he had a teary-eyed red head with him.

“Five minutes, Vienna Rue.”  He said in his best no-nonsense voice.  “I know you heard me tell your sister ‘no climbing up the slide’.”

“But no fair!  Uhcause, how come she doesn’t have time out, and how come I do, cuz she did it too.”  The girl whined, fighting off sobs.

“Why?”  Jonah rephrased automatically.  “Because, luckily for her, she didn’t hurt anybody.”  He explained patiently.  “You broke the rules and someone got hurt.”  He settled her on the bench and looked into her face.  “Do you understand?”  He asked her gently.  She huffed and swiped under her nose and crossed her arms across her chest, but then she nodded.  “Good.”  He said, cupping her face in the palm of his hand.  “That’s why we have rules—so people won’t get hurt.  You break the rules and you put other people in danger.”

“I said I was sorry!”  She exclaimed miserably.  She looked ready to fly into a tirade.

Jonah tilted his head and fixed her with a warning expression until she appeared to have calmed down.  “You did apologize.”  He conceded.  “And that was the right thing to do, but saying sorry doesn’t make it hurt less, does it?”  He asked. 

She pouted and refused to answer.

“Does your head hurt any less when Grey apologizes after he’s pulled your hair?” 

She shook her head and slumped against the back of the bench, defeated and dejected.

Jonah decided to leave it at that.  “Five minutes.”  He said, and moved around the bench to stand by Nolan.  “So.”  He said quietly.  “How do you feel?”

“I almost kissed her.”  Nolan said, a mixture of amazement and disgust. 

“Almost?”  Jonah said.  “Was the almost because it was a blocked attempt?  Or was it aborted before completion?”

“I got a grip just before I made an ass of myself.”  Nolan answered wryly.  “But I leaned right in without even thinking!”  What was wrong with him?

“How’d she react?”  His brother sounded tickled.

Nolan thought.  “Um.  She looked at me, pretty curious, and she leaned in too.”

“Wow.”

Nolan smiled.  “Did she want me to kiss her?  Should I have kissed her?  That’s crazy.  Right?  I mean, we’d just met.”

Jonah laughed.  “I have never seen you so fraught with insecurity!”  He mused.

Nolan groaned and rolled his head around on his neck, trying to ease the tension that had been mounting there due to all this fretting.  “You know, the way you said that, like you ‘had the right’—“  Nolan paused.  “That’s kinda how it felt for me too.  Or—“  he squinted and searched for a more accurate way of putting it.  “Like I was supposed to.”  He shook his head a little.  That phrasing wasn’t much better.  “I don’t know.  Impelled to?”  He shrugged.  “She said something to me, at one point, and, it sort of rang true—“

“What’s that?”  Jonah asked softly.

“She said: ‘You keep looking at me like we’ve met before’.”  He said reverently.  “And, even though I am certain, dead certain this is the first time I’ve laid eyes on the woman, what she said sort of feels true.  Like I know her, but I don’t know her.  She’s a total mystery, but yet I felt comfortable enough to tell her about Ma and Pops.”  He swallowed and heard Jonah draw a sharp inhale.  “And then that almost-kiss, like, she gets me all turned around, way off my game, I can’t even really think straight around her, but all of a sudden I’m putting the moves on her?  Without planning or, well, without even really being aware of what I was doing?”  He grabbed a hold of his chin and jaw with one hand and stroked the growing stubble, deep in thought.  “Because kissing a girl like that, that would have been moving way too fast, right?”

“I kissed Velvet the day we met.”  He offered.

Nolan nodded.  “It’s hard to compare.”  He said after a moment.  “The circumstances… her world was in turmoil, and you’re both prone to sweeping romance.”

Jonah snorted.  “I was aware, little brother, that I was moving pretty quickly by normal standards.”

“But it felt right?”  Asked Nolan, unsure.

“Felt absolutely right.”

Nolan breathed.  He let his eyes wander around the playground while he struggled to come to terms with what he was experiencing.  He gazed at Genny climbing on the jungle gym, at her twin Vienna, who was glumly watching the other kids with envy.  And he watched Viola, who was tossing her head back and forth and singing a little made-up song as she did her best to scoop sand into a castle-shaped bucket.

“I’ve never wanted anything more in my whole life.”  Nolan said, turning to Jonah, the truth of it washing over him as he spoke.

Jonah nodded approvingly.  “Then go after it and don’t give up.”

Nolan smiled.  “This is pretty overwhelming.”

Jonah squeezed his brother’s shoulder affectionately.  “Surrender to it, Nolan.  Let yourself fall.  You won’t regret it.”

Now, pacing as non-chalant-ly as he could manage it, Nolan realized that he’d never even asked for her number.  Didn’t know where she lived.  Hardly knew anything about her, and what he did know could have been made up on the spot.  She might have been having a little sport with him for the hell of it. 

He realized that she might not show up.

The thought made him a little queasy. 

“You clean up real nice, Nolan Delaney.”  Purred a voice from behind him as he checked his watch for the umpteenth time (seven forty).

He spun, unable to remember feeling so relieved before in his life.  She’d shown up.  She hadn’t stood him up.  She was there, at the gazebo, and only about as fashionably late as any woman would be.

“You look like a goddess.”  He said truthfully.

She did.  She was wearing a white dress.  He smiled.  He was going to marry this woman.  He knew it like he knew his own name.  Suddenly he relaxed.  He looked her up and down appreciatively.  She had chosen a perfect dress to flatter her figure and complement her coloring.  The crisp white of the breezy fabric showed her rich, dark brown skin to full advantage.  The cut of the dress hugged in all the right places and fell loose and flowy just where you’d want it to.  The top was fitted around her generous chest, accenting the full, round curves beautifully; and it was a v-neck, much to his satisfaction—her cleavage was mouthwatering, but in no way immodest or too graphic.  Her breasts looked natural and womanly, not pushed together in a pornographic way like many women liked to do to impress. 

The waist of the dress started right below her bust line and was a wide swath of silver and crystal beading that hugged her ribcage and dazzled the eyes.  Then the skirt billowed down, loose and breezy and ending just below her knees, accented with that silver and crystal beading.  It had wide, almost gauzy type free-flowing sleeves that gathered under her elbow. 

She’d pulled her hair up loosely, much of it gathered into an organic sort of chignon at the back of her neck; it looked full and soft and incredibly sensual.  Nolan wondered how on earth she managed to get all that thick, wavy hair to defy the laws of gravity like that. 

“Which one?”  She challenged with a challenging eyebrow raised.

He frowned.  Which goddess? “Not the one in charge of punctuality.”  He said with an equally challenging eyebrow.

She chuckled.  “Did I make you sweat a little?”

He started toward her slowly.  “A little.”

She put a hand on her waist, the other swung her small silver purse playfully.  “Afraid I wouldn’t show?”

He came to rest in front of her, a little closer than maybe was conventionally done on a first date, but he wanted to smell her again.  Yes, definitely cinnamon.  And tea-tree oil.  And lavender, now—maybe she used lavender soap?  And a hint of cardamom?  “I was afraid you weren’t real.”  He breathed, savoring the scent of her, and soaking in her perfect features, now that he was up close.

She wore more make-up than she’d had on that afternoon.  The kohl around her eyes was heavier and it made Nolan think of exotic stories he’d read as a child.  Her lips were stained with a slightly darker, more womanly tinted gloss.  She wore some blush, calling due attention to her impeccable bone structure and full cheeks.  And the shadows she chose for her eyes combined smoke and light, playing up her heavy lids and the captivating size of them.  The overall effect was quite stunning.

They searched one another’s eyes wordlessly for a moment, both smiling faintly, looking for answers to questions that couldn’t adequately be voiced in words.

“Ahk!”  Nolan said, surprised by a sharp, firm twist on his upper arm.  He rubbed it as she chuckled.  “Did you just pinch me?”  He asked, not quite believing it.

“Now you know it’s not a dream.”  She explained helpfully.

His lips spread into an open mouthed smile.  “Ah.”  He said, nodding a little.  “Then I should thank you for being so thoughtful.”

“Just looking out for you.”

“I appreciate it.”

“I was glad to do it.”

Nolan grinned at her.  She was a little taller this evening, now that she was in shoes with a bit of a heel rather than beach flip flops.  Her new height put her lips even closer to the very kissable range.  He couldn’t seem to stop his eyes from wandering to them.  “You are stunning.”  He said quietly.

Her lips curved into a smile.  “Good.”  She said, and he made a surprised laugh.

“Good?”

“Well, that’s what I was going for—“  She said with a lazy shrug.  “Took me forever to get ready.”  She dazzled him with a wide, white grin.  “Better be worth it after all that!”

He laughed.  He wanted to touch her so badly he ached with the need of it.  Instead he slipped his hands into his pockets and rocked back on his heels, then forward on his toes before re-centering his weight squarely. 

“I owe myself twenty bucks.”  She added, looking him over unashamedly.

He liked her looking.  He’d spent a long time getting ready too.  It felt good to be appreciated so thoroughly.  “You bet yourself I wouldn’t be here waiting?”  He guessed.

“Psshh.”  She made a dismissive sound.  “I knew you’d be here.”  They smiled at one another.  “No.  Five for the tie—thought for sure you’d wear one.”  Fuck.  He’d gone back and forth on that for a good ten minutes.

“I can put one on—I brought one—“

She laughed.  “Look, I didn’t say I was hoping you’d wear one.  I just kinda, predicted you might be the more conservative type.”

“Didn’t feel right for a summer night.”  He confessed.

“Agreed.”  She said.  “My cousin was all over me for not wearing a ‘little black dress’.”  She rolled her eyes.  “Every woman knows you wear a little black dress for the first date.  Or, if you’re going to put out, you wear red.”

He gaped and then laughed deeply.  He felt a flush creeping up his neck.  “You couldn’t look more perfect.”  He told her, relieved that the candid tone of it saved it from being completely cheesy.  He offered her his arm.  “Let’s walk and talk.  I parked by the antique store.”

She transferred her purse the other hand and slid her arm under and onto his.  Even through his sport coat and shirt he could feel that balance-knocking, perception-rattling electricity that she had.  His very bones began to buzz.  “You smell good.”  She said as they began to stroll away from the gazebo in the warm, rich colors of the fading summer sun and the cool mystery of the ever-lengthening shadows cast by the tree trunks and branches of the park.

“So do you.”  He responded low.

“Well, I showered.”

He chuckled.  “Me too.”

“We could have conserved water if we’d done it together.”  She joked.

“Ah.”  He said ruefully.  “I should have offered.”  He made a play of smacking himself lightly on the forehead.  “From now on, you’re welcome to save the planet by showering with me.”

He loved the sound of her laugh.  It made his blood feel electrically charged, and warmed him through like a hot cocoa after skiing.  Maybe an ‘Irish’ hot cocoa… because it wasn’t quite as wholesome as Swiss Miss.

“I care about mother earth.”  She said with a playful edge. 

“Hmm.”  His laugh melted into a pleasant hum.  “So five bucks for the tie.  I agonized over that.”

She laughed appreciatively.  “Five for the tie.”  She listed.  “Five for the stubble.”  She said with a flirty lift to the words.

Shit!  He’d debated that, too!  He almost always shaved for a first date.  Fuck.  “That, I’m afraid, would be more difficult for me to change at this stage.”  He fretted, but did his best to sound flirty right back.

“Open collar, no tie, and roguishly unshaven?”  She said in an evaluating tone.  “Nolan Delaney, you look a bit like a rake.”

He laughed.  Again he felt a flushing creeping up to the back of his scalp.  His ears felt a little hot.  “A rake.”  He mulled as they crossed from the park to the charming, quaint row of shops in heart of downtown Cedar Falls.  “Well.  It was a gamble, with the facial hair.”  He confessed.  “You don’t like it?”

“Oh, I didn’t say that.” When she spoke her voice pulsed low and thick.  “What girl doesn’t want a bit of a rake?”

He gave her a sidelong glance.  “Looks can be deceiving  Miss Keerthani.”  He said gently.  “I’m a gentleman.”

She waved a hand, her silvery beaded purse swinging gaily from her wrist as the walked.  “Oh obviously—you open doors, you hold chairs, you help a lady to her feet.  You’ve got gentlemen embedded in your DNA!”  Her hand on his arm gave a little squeeze and he felt it much lower.  “I didn’t say I was hoping you were a lothario.  Just a bit of a rake.”  She chuckled to herself lightly.  “Just enough to make me tingle, but not so much that I have to keep my rape whistle handy.”

“Jesus.”  He laughed.  He felt like his smile would split his face.  They turned onto Centre Street, where he’d parked.  Many of the boutiques and shops were already closed for the evening; others would stay open until eight.  Very few were open past nine on weeknights.  Some shoppers passed by them.  Nolan caught a whiff of fresh bread from one passerby’s stout brown paper bag.  He loved this street.

“I love this street.”  Zahra echoed his thoughts aloud.

“My favorite one in town.”  He said, a little in awe of their synchronicity.  “Most people say they like the Parkway best.”

“Or Riverside.”  She topped.

“And the Ridge Road is pretty stunning.”  He added fairly.

“But this one.”  She said.  He glanced sideways in time to watch her close her eyes and smile a soft, private smile.  When they opened again she looked right up at him.  She didn’t seem surprised to find him looking at her. 

“This one’s perfect.”  He finished.  Their gaze held until he needed to pay attention to where they were walking.  A business woman mother with a babbling toddler in a stroller and a well-attired older child walking alongside were heading their way.  Nolan and Zahra moved to one side to allow for the little family to pass on the other.  Smiles and nods all around. 

“You could’ve parked closer to the park—“  She said thoughtfully.

“I’m sorry—do your feet hurt?”  He looked with some concern at her very sexy silver strappy shoes. 

She made a short laugh.  “I’m just wondering if maybe you parked over here on purpose—because you like this street.”

His face went serious.  “That’s exactly why I parked here.”  He told her bluntly.  “Plus I wanted time to walk with you.”

“So Nolan Delaney plans ahead.”  She assessed.

“Sometimes.”  He said.  “And sometimes, apparently, I walk up to women I’ve never met and ask them to dinner without even getting their name first.”

She grinned.  “Don’t want to get too bogged down in planning.”  She said generously.

He quickly counted how many shops till they would reach his car.  “Okay, so I’ve cost you ten dollars so far.  How about the other ten?”

She sighed.  “Well the first two surprised me but didn’t disappoint.”  She said. He grinned. “The other two…” Uh-oh. 

Oh god.  He’d already fucked up?  He swallowed and tried not to tense up too much.  She might feel it under her hands if he went too stiff.  He did his best to stay cool.  “Well, by all means, tell me how I’ve offended and I’ll do anything in my power to correct it.”

“Well, frankly, I had you pegged for the type who’d have flowers.”  She said, matter-of-fact.

His eyebrows lifted.  “You want a rake who comes bearing bouquets?”  He teased lightly.

She clucked her tongue.  “Women are complicated and often contradictory, Nolan Delaney.  Don’t fight it; learn to love it and honor it.”  Her playfully lecturing tone made him laugh once again.

They neared his car and he slowed them to a stop.  “Well, good news for you, then.”  He said charmingly as he extricated his arm from her grasp and held up a hand as if to say: ‘Wait here!’  She tilted her head to the side and narrowed her eyes skeptically, a small smile curling about her lips, despite how hard she was trying to look serious.

He bounded over to the vehicle, opened the back door and retrieved the purchase he’d made at Posy just before he’d headed up to the park to wait.  “Now you only owe yourself fifteen.”  He said with a pleased smile as he rejoined her on the wide sidewalk.

Her eyes lingered on the single flower for a long moment, her beautiful mouth relaxed, her face soft and open.  When she didn’t speak and didn’t reach for it, he began to experience a nervous tickling under his ribcage.  Like every decision he’d made in preparation for their date this evening, he’d spent a good deal of time and thought and energy on this choice.  He usually went with a single rose.  Tonight he’d veered from routine because the roses just didn’t feel right.  His gut had pulled him back to this bloom again and again until he finally had to take the chance.

He wondered, now, looking at it, if maybe it could be construed as too suggestive.  He didn’t know too much about flowers, he knew as much as someone in the catering and hospitality business should know, but he didn’t know, like Jonah did, all the symbolism and history and deeper meaning bullshit.  Now he was worried.  He knew he should have called his brother.

It was a long-ish flower, on a long, solid stalk of a stem, sort of tubular, like a funnel for a few inches before its two smooth halves curled gently outward and upward, opening up like half a bell, revealing a hollow center where an elongated little yellow center nestled.  They came in a variety of colors.  Enid, the shop owner, had tried to persuade him to go with the ‘classic white’.  But he’d been drawn to this one.  It was a honeyed sangria red on the outside and opened to a warm golden yellow-orange on the inside.  Enid had dressed it up simply with a delicate gauzy silver ribbon curving along the stem.  Oh.  How fortuitous—it matched the details on her outfit!  That was lucky.  He’d agreed to the silver because he figured it would be neutral and not offensive.  It had worked out better than he could have expected.

But looking at the flower now, the bifurcating lips, the seductive opening.  He blushed.  This was a suggestive looking flower.  Christ.  Why the fuck hadn’t he seen that in the store? Especially since he’d chosen to go with the warm, earthy color palette.  Jesus.  He’d just handed her a vagina on a stem.

Her midnight eyes lifted and bored into his.  His breath evaporated at the intensity of the expression.  She was looking for something.  Oh god.  He wanted to apologize, but he didn’t want to admit he now thought the flower was reminiscent of the female genitalia.  He couldn’t speak.

“What made you choose this?”  She asked, her dusky voice almost tremulous.

He washed over hot and cold.  Good lord, he wouldn’t be able to stand it if he’d fucked up his chance with this woman over a fucking flower.  “You wanted a rose.”  He said dully.

She made a face.  “Roses are boring.”  She retorted.  “What made you choose this one?”

He licked his lips and swallowed.  His throat felt tight.  “I don’t know.”  He confessed, because around her he couldn’t help speaking plainly.  He wanted to say: ‘it made me think of you’, because that was also the truth, but now he was paranoid that she’d think he’d been sending a message about his expectations after dinner, or worse, imagine him leering around a flower shop thinking about her vulva.

“Did you have help?”  She demanded.  He couldn’t tell if she was angry or disgusted or what.  He was glad he hadn’t worn a tie, because he’d have had to loosen it now.

“No—I—Enid, the shop owner, she tried to tell me to get the white one.  But.  She put the ribbon on.  I.”  He swallowed.  “Zahra, I’m sorry, I just saw it and thought it was lovely—I apologize if it sends the wrong message.”  It had just looked so regal and sensual and majestic.  And it was one of the few flowers in there that could really hold its own as a single bloom.  He wasn’t a ‘bouquet’ or a ‘bunch’ kind of guy, not for a date.

She reached up with one hand and he flinched, afraid for a wild moment that he’d offended her gravely enough to earn a slap.  But she placed her hand on his face, her fingers gently resting on his cheek and jaw, and she gazed deep into him.  He begged her with his eyes, pleaded with her to believe that he had had the best of intentions.  His breath was shallow, his heart racing in a minor panic. 

“Nolan Delaney you are a very surprising man, did you know that?”  She purred, wonder shading her rough purr.

He was surprised, that was for sure, but surprising?  “It just felt like the right one.”  He mumbled, unable to look anywhere but in her bewitching, endless dark eyes.  “Please—“

Her thumb stroked over his cheekbone and he shivered hotly in response.  “Do you even know what it’s called?”  She asked with a smile beginning to lift at the corners of her mouth.

Oh fuck.  Wait.  He’d asked.  He liked to know things.  He usually had a memory like a steel trap.  Hold on.  Think Delaney, think!  Um.  “It’s a lily.”  He said, knowing that there was something more to it.  It didn’t look at all like the lilies he was used to seeing at events, and it didn’t have that overpowering lily fragrance that always put him in mind of wakes and funeral parlors.  He hadn’t wanted to get her anything that would distract his nose from the scent of her.

“It’s a Calla Lily.”  She supplied softly.

Yes.  That was it.  Calla Lily. 

“And they’re my favorite.”  She finished simply.

He was so relieved he let out a shuddery breath and laughed.  “Holy god, I thought the date was over for a minute there.”  He spoke aloud what he should probably have kept to himself.

She grinned and patted his face playfully before removing it from his face and finally taking the flower from him.  “No one’s ever just given me a calla lily before, not without me telling them that they’re my favorite.”  She said.  “And the colors—“  She stopped herself. 

He was too relieved to wonder overlong at the sudden stop.  “Yeah, I guess, in hindsight the white one would have gone with your dress.  But at least the silver matches!”  He was fucking giddy as hell.  He took a few deep breaths to try and get a hold of himself. 

“No.”  She breathed, handling the lily as if it were precious.  “This is the most beautiful one I’ve ever seen.”  He stared at her.  So far she’d proven to be very sassy, even flippant.  In that moment she sounded soft and vulnerable and he had the feeling that he was seeing behind the cavalier armor she usually wore.  It affected him. 

She felt his eyes on her and seemed to realize she’d lifted the curtain there, and she grinned.  “You did good Delaney.”  She teased, back to her confident, challenging self.  “And you saved me five bucks I would have owed myself.  Nice work.”

He smiled.  “Wanna tell me about the last five?”  He asked, stepping around her and over to the passenger side of his car.  He waited for her to saunter over before opening the door.  She didn’t get in right away.  Instead she stood close to him.  She smelled so, so good to him.

“Yeah.”  She said, flirty again.  “You let me down, fella.”

“Really?”  He asked, willing to play now that he’d escaped the flower debacle.

“Yeah.”  She said, nodding slowly.  “When I saw myself in the mirror tonight—“  She breathed, letting her voice get very soft and low and hot.  “I said to myself: Damn, Zahra.  You look so good—I bet that Nolan Delaney won’t be able to help himself; I bet he’ll kiss you before you even get in the car.”

Nolan’s lips parted and his eyes widened.

“Guess I’m about to lose that one too.”  She said with a wink, and started to move to climb into the seat.

He stopped her by placing his hands on the sides of her shoulders.  She allowed him to turn her body to his.  He searched her eyes for a moment.  She was lying, about the last part of the bet.  She had just said it to bait him.  “Well we can’t have that.”  He murmured as he slid his hands up her arms, over her shoulders, his thumbs grazing the delicate skin over her collar bone, up her long neck and finally coming to rest gently, but still somewhat possessively on either side of her face.

Her lips parted in anticipation as he watched them hungrily, and he smiled.  He flicked his gaze back up to her eyes and smoldered.  He wasn’t sure, but he might have heard a ghost of a gasp.  Nolan Delaney knew how to be a bit of a rake when he wanted to be. 

And then he closed the distance between them and met his lips to hers.

"I Think I Owe You An Apology"

Ok.  So guess what?  I know I should finish that dinner night, the LONG NIGHT sequence, but I really fucking don't want to right now!  i know a few things that have to happen but... bleck.  i'm not into it at present, and i'm wayyy too fucking busy to be fucking around with things I'm not passionate about, that i'm not invested in, you know?

Instead, today, on this rainy ass thursday, i'd like to post something I'm reallllll fucking smitten with.  It will be a several-parter, and it is doodoodoodooloodoo flashback!

I like it alot.  I wonder if it would make a final cut if I were to compile all this into a book.  Hmm.  not sure.  But it would make it as a backstory flashback episode on LOST!!!!  so, think of it l.ike that and we're all good.  

This is Nolan.  sigh of sighs.  Plus we get to see some Jonah and baby Viola, which might give some readers the creeps since they already know what happens when she blossoms into womanhood (heeeheeehee, sinister laugh!).  But here, just like in the father's day one where he's her principal, Jonah is just a good man, a good dad, and completely unaware that one day he'll become his worst nightmare!

But this isn't really about jones, it is a Nolan storyline.

Enjoy, because, well, why the fuck not, right?  

Then, preview of coming attractions:  When I'm done with this Nolan thing in a few days i am going to get back to the 'present' by skipping over the dinner entirely (unless some burst of creative epiphany makes THE LONG NIGHT coalesce into something passable), and getting back to the business of Grey & Maggie-- who happen to be fan favorites :)

Ok.  happy reading folks!

*************************

“I think I owe you an apology.”  Nolan sat down on the playground bench beside his brother, wearing a dazed sort of expression.

Jonah glanced at his watch and smiled.  “You aren’t all that late.  No need to apologize.”  He bounced the little girl on his knees and she giggled riotously.  He smiled at her, her little fingers gripping his thumbs and her little legs kicking excitedly.  

“More!”  She demanded, her grin bright and breathless.

Jonah crinkled his eyes at her before doing a quick scan of the playground beyond.  He took a moment to watch for two sets of red pigtails to run by before returning his attention to the toddler on his lap.  “More?!”  He asked, bouncing her lightly.

She crinkled her eyes right back and giggled with an emphatic nod.

“You asked for it.”  He warned with a smile.  Her eyes widened just a second before he split his knees apart and her bottom fell through.  She gasped at the suddenness of the trapdoor effect, throwing her head back for the full experience, but holding onto his thumbs for dear life. 

Jonah pulled her back up and returned his lap to neutral so she’d once again have a solid seat and they grinned at eachother some more.  “More.”  She said, looking purely delighted.

He chuckled and planted a kiss on her forehead.  “No more.  Not now.”

Predictably, she pouted mightily.  “Yes.”  She stated, then, as an afterthought “Peez?”

He kept his face stoic despite the urge to grin.  “Not right now.  Give kisses to Uncle Nolan.”  He leaned her sideways and she promptly let go of her grip on his fingers and clamored into her uncle’s lap.

Nolan helped her scramble automatically, with the ease that comes from years of practice with nieces and nephews, and wrapped her in a big bear hug.  But he maintained that half-here, half-somehwere-else expression even while kissing her little cheeks, tapping her nose, tickling her into a fit of giggles and then setting her on the ground infront of the bench.

She babbled to him in her semi-fluent version of the English language and Jonah watched with amusement as his brother pretended to follow her animated end of the conversation.  “Really?  You don’t say!”  Nolan engaged the girl.  She nodded and continued.  Jonah was able to lift a few familiar words and phrases from the steady stream of happy gabbing, but really only Viola knew what in hell she was talking about.

After a few moments of monologuing, punctuated here and there by Nolan’s politely interested interjections and complete with emphatic hand gestures on her part, the girl seemed to come to some kind of conclusion and looked at them both expectantly.

“That was a wonderful story.”  Jonah told her indulgently.  She tilted her head to the side and smiled at him. 

He spent the next few minutes getting her settled in the sandbox a few feet from the bench.  Once she seemed engaged with the possibilities inherent, he resumed his seat next to his brother and sighed happily.  It was a gorgeous summer day.  He was content.

“I really do.”  Nolan said vaguely, resuming the conversation he’d initiated upon arrival.

“You do what?  Owe me an apology?”  Jonah asked, glancing at him in time to see him nodding, his eyes far away, a peculiar smile on his lips.  Jonah chuckled.  What the hell was up?  “What for?”

Nolan smiled and looked down at his shoes.  “I thought you were a crazy romantic sap.”  He confessed.  “Honestly, I pretty much thought you were insane.”

Jonah’s eyebrows crinkled and he directed his head toward where one of the twins was calling for him to ‘Watch This Daddy!’.   He gave a little wave and a nod to let her know he was an attentive audience member.  “To which instance are we referring here?”  He asked his brother pleasantly.

Vienna slid down the tallest slide with her arms in the air, landed, did a somersault, stood, and threw her arms up once more in a ‘tad-da’ moment.  Jonah clapped appreciatively and gave her a thumbs-up.  She ran off to another piece of playground equipment with a pleased-as-punch smile.

“When you fell for Velvet.”

Christ.  Jonah laughed.  “You’ve been holding your tongue on that all this time?”  He asked as he observed Viola dump a bucket of sand out with a satisfied air of accomplishment.

Nolan sighed.  “That sort of stuff is just in movies, you know?  Just a fairytale.  It doesn’t happen to regular people, in real life.”

Jonah’s brows relaxed and a smile spread very slowly across his lips.  He counted his youngest children once more, quickly—yes, one, two, and the sandbox makes three—and then, as slow as the smile, turned to examine his brother.

“You wouldn’t mean ‘love at first sight’, by any chance, would you Nolan?”

Jonah watched his brother’s face, a mixture of rapture and bewilderment.  The guy was transported.  Jonah grinned and reminded himself that it would be smug of him to point a finger and say ‘I told you so!’

“I’ve never felt anything like this before in my life.”  Nolan confessed, sounding both elated and terrified, if that is possible.

Jonah smothered his knowing grin just before his brother’s stormy blue-gray eyes turned to him, full of earnest concern, and still fairly spell-bound.  Jonah couldn’t help the giddy swelling in his chest.  He was a romantic sap, afterall.  A sentimental fool.  And it was about goddamn time this happened to Nolan.

Not that his brother hadn’t had fine relationships.  He had.  Nolan was a great guy and he had a knack for dating great girls. All the women Nolan saw for long periods of time were friendly, smart, good-natured, lovely people.  They were always great to Jonah’s kids, made friends with the family, and treated Nolan well.  But Jonah had yet to see his brother fall head over heels.  Oh, he didn’t doubt Nolan cared deeply for the women he saw; Nolan wasn’t really the kind of guy who sought casual sex much.  But while the guy may have loved many of his partners, he never seemed to really fall in love with anyone.

Now it had happened in, what?  The space of an afternoon?

“I think I just met the woman I’m going to marry.”  He said, wide-eyed and almost startled at the words as they escaped his lips.

Jonah adjusted his glasses, crossed his legs and leaned back on the bench.  The two smiled at eachother like hopeless idiots for a full minute, not saying anything, just grinning.

“Well, let’s hear about it.”  Jonah laughed and clapped his brother’s shoulder affectionately.