Ok.  So I know, I know.  Now that I have a CF blog I should no longer post here. BUT.  But I wrote this vignette a while ago and I'd like to post it today, on Valentine's.  It is, of course, out of order, but not too far off from where I left you with Maggie & Grey if anyon'es all caught up (Danielle?  Maybe?).  But whatevs.  I just wanna, so I'm gunna.  I reserve that right, right? Right.

So Happy Valentine's!

***************

Velvet was happy Grey and Maggie had decided to join them at the main house for the annual Valentine’s Day breakfast.  She would have understood had they decided to keep to themselves in the guest house.  She smiled as she reached for the blackberry preserve.

It was a peculiar holiday to make into a family holiday, she supposed, but it had everything to do with Grey so it seemed fitting that he’d decided to come and had brought his beautiful bride.

Velvet spread a thin layer of preserve across her already buttered toast and sighed contentedly, thinking of her first Valentine’s Day with Jonah.  She’d been a new mother, a divorcee, and pretty newly engaged to boot.  They were still living in the townhouse with the yellow door in the old factory district, still living with Nolan. 

She’d overheard a conversation between the brothers late the night before, while Jonah was up feeding Grey; and Nolan, just getting home from work at the bar, was unwinding and keeping his brother company. It was a comfortable routine.  Velvet lay in bed and listened to their conversation in the common area.  ‘I can take care of a baby for a night, Jones, really, it isn’t a big deal.’ Nolan was insisting.  ‘This is your first Valentine’s’ he’d lectured, trying to convince Jonah to take her out for a proper date.

Grey’d wailed then, for a few moments, and the conversation waited until he’d settled in once again and was suckling on his bottle contentedly.

“He doesn’t look sleepy at all.”  Commented Nolan adoringly.

“He’s a night owl.”  Jonah agreed indulgently.

Velvet loved what softies those two men were for babies.  Maybe because their parents had had their younger brother so late in life.  They were both great with Grey.  She was always grateful for the way Nolan not only adjusted to living with a young couple who were raising a new baby, but actually seemed to enjoy it.  Uncle Nolan was very much a part of their little family. “Maybe he’ll grow up to be a bartender like his Uncle.”  He posited and she heard Jonah chuckle low.

“Thanks, Nole, really, but I think I want to do a family style Valentine’s.”  He said after a few moments of what sounded like Nolan playing some version of peek-a-boo with the baby.

“You sure?”  Nolan sounded skeptical.

“Yeah.”  Jonah’d replied, yawning.  “Breakfast in bed, maybe an indoor picnic, cuddling on the couch and just, whatever she needs.”  He said.  “Besides, you don’t want to miss the bank you’ll make tending bar on Valentine’s.”

Velvet heard Nolan grunt.  “Tell the truth I was kinda looking forward to avoiding all those sad, lonely, desperate girls.”  She heard the water in the kitchen sink and knew he was rinsing his plate and silverware from the microwaved leftovers they’d saved him from their dinner.

“Have breakfast with us, then, in the morning.” Offered Jonah, and Velvet could hear the honest enthusiasm in his voice. 

“Oh, I dunno—“

“Yeah, please? Get up and have breakfast with us as a family.  I’ll make whatever you want.”

“Jones, C’mon, spend it with your family.”  Nolan said gently.

“You’re part of my family.” Jonah insisted.  “Huh, Grey? Don’t you think Uncle Nolan should be present at the first annual Delaney Family Valentine’s Day Breakfast?” Said Jonah, cooing at the months-old baby he was feeding.

Nolan laughed.  “Don’t use the kid as leverage, you asshole.”

“Hey, delicate ears over here.” Jonah said, chuckling.  “Grey thinks you should be there.  And I agree.”

They were quiet for a moment before Nolan said very quietly: “And your fiancée?”

Velvet flushed in the way one does when eavesdropping and the talk turns to oneself.  She tried to make herself even more still than she already was and strained to hear the much-lowered voices.

“She loves you Nolan.” Jonah was saying.  “No, she does—she thinks you’re great and she loves how you are with Grey, Nole, she’d want you there.”

“It’s Valentine’s Day—“

“Yeah, and the last one she had was with that son of a bitch—“

“Hey, impressionable ears!”  Nolan interrupted, teasing.

“ --And I don’t ever want this holiday to remind her of him in the least.  I’m not doing the usual stuff with her on this day.  Not ever.”

“I dunno if you have any control over how she feels or doesn’t feel about the man, my friend.”

“Knock it off.”

“Jonah, just—“

“Just what?  How many times are you going to say it Nolan?  I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I just want you to be careful.” Nolan said with a heavy sigh.  “People can’t just be expected to fall out of love with no strings attached, no confused feelings—“

In the dark of the bedroom she shared with Jonah, Velvet’s mouth fell open at Nolan’s veiled accusation.  And then she washed over cold because of how frighteningly close to the mark he’d come.

 “Nolan, she likes you, why can’t you give her a chance?”

“She’s great!”  Nolan insisted defensively.  “This isn’t about that, this is about you and how I don’t want to see you hurt.”

“I love her.” Jonah responded simply.  “She’s going to be my wife.”  He added as Nolan stayed quiet.  “We have a son.”

“He’s pretty great.” Nolan acknowledged, and Velvet could hear the smile in his voice.

Velvet heard the decisive pop of the bottle leaving Grey’s mouth and a contented gurgling.

“All done?” Jonah asked the boy incredulously.  “Think I should give him more?”

After a few moments she heard the refrigerator open.

“Bad luck, Brother.” Nolan said.  “You’ll have to bring him to the source, because you’re out of pumped stuff.”

“Dammit.”  Jonah said in a sing-song sort of voice, clearly entertaining the baby.  “Check the freezer?” She heard a raspberry sound that made the baby chuckle and burble appreciatively.

The Fridge door closed as the freezer door pulled open.

“Yeah.  It’ll take a while to thaw though, even doing the warm water.”  She heard Nolan yawn as he pulled a heavy glass mixing bowl across the surface of the counter and turn on the faucet again.

“Go ahead to bed Nole, I got it.”

“It’s not a problem—“ Another yawn.

Jonah groaned a little as she heard him getting up off the couch with the baby. “Goodnight.” He said, more firmly. “You need a good night’s sleep if you’re gunna get up and have family breakfast with us.”

“Jonesie—“

“Say g’night to Uncle Nole, Grey!”

Nolan had finally grunted his agreement and Velvet had drifted off to sleep sometime later, Jonah still up singing silly little made-up lullabies and playing the simple little games you play with babies, and when she awoke next it was to the heavenly aroma of fresh coffee and sizzling bacon and something cinnamon-y baking in the oven.  And to the sounds of animated, if quiet, conversation and the happy chipper sounds of the baby playing with the electronic light-up toys in his play seat. 

Now, 24 years later, she still got a little misty at the memory of walking out into the open-concept kitchen\living\dining area of the old brick townhouse and experiencing the first-ever Delaney Family Valentine’s Day Breakfast.

“—more, Velvet?” 

Velvet blinked and then flushed slightly.  Whoops.  She’d been caught day-dreaming.  “I’m sorry?”

Jonah stood beside her chair with the glass pitcher of fresh-squeezed orange juice.  “I asked if you’d like any more.”  He told her gently.  “Happy Valentine’s Day, Wife.” He added quietly, in a way that made her think maybe he knew exactly where she’d wandered off to just then. 

She grinned up at him and then looked around the table at her family.  They were all there—Viola, looking bleary eyed and grumpy as a teenager should, the twins, both in their glasses because it was way too early to think about putting in contacts, Even Avalon had decided to come and she’d somehow convinced Ben of the endeavor, and the handsome young man was enduring it gracefully, she thought.  And, of course, Grey with Maggie. 

Velvet had asked Nolan, when he’d married Zahra, if he would keep coming over to their place—She and Jonah had moved out of the townhouse when they’d married, but he’d made the early morning trip over to their new place annually—for the traditional breakfast.  He’d smiled, said he would miss them very much, but that it was time to start his own family traditions. 

She wondered what that Delaney bunch did on this day.  She’d never thought to inquire.  And Caleb sometimes joined them, but this Valentine’s was especially prickly and he couldn’t be convinced to crawl out of bed this time around to celebrate ‘that idiot cupid’. 

But she had her family, and that made her warm and contented.

“No, thank you, Sweetheart.”  She said in response to the juice query, and he moved around the table to offer to Avalon and Ben.

She listened to Maggie discussing the wedding with Ava, and to the twins teasing their father about the silver at his temples, and to Grey trying to pull his youngest sister out of her moody teenager-y gloom with humor, and she turned to Ben, who was sipping his coffee and casting his glance about, looking for a conversation to join.

She leaned over to him and confided: “I wasn’t a Delaney at my first Delaney Family Valentine’s breakfast either, you know.”

He lowered the coffee mug from his lips and smiled.  “No?”

She shook her head and giggled.  “Grey wasn’t either, I guess, come to think of it.”  She added thoughtfully, realizing that while Jonah’s intent was clear from before Grey’d been born, she hadn’t actually processed the papers until he was around six months old.

“I wasn’t what?”  Grey asked sharply, always able to hear his name when spoken in a crowd.

“A Delaney, at the first Valentine’s day.”  She answered, throwing a contrite look at Jonah who was leaning in to ask Viola about more orange juice, the very idea of which seemed to make the girl faintly ill. 

“Ah.”  Said Grey in response and met eyes with Maggie.   Velvet followed his gaze and saw Maggie nod marginally and nibble her lower lip.  “Funny you should bring that up.”  Grey said, rising from his seat and going to stand behind Maggie’s chair.

The table quieted down and everybody was watching Grey curiously.  Velvet felt a hand on her own shoulder and looked up to see Jonah smiling a little, captivated by Grey.

“Because, this time next year there will be another Delaney with us.”

Velvet looked at Ben for a moment before remembering that Ben wouldn’t become a Delaney, Avalon would be becoming a Sinclair.  She looked back at Grey, who seemed to be locked in a challenging gaze with Jonah, and then at Maggie who didn’t seem able to meet anyone’s eyes.

The hand on her shoulder squeezed gently and she looked up, puzzled.  Then the hand was gone and Jonah was crossing around the breakfast table to where Grey stood, and extending the hand for a shake.  “Congratulations, Son!”  He said warmly “That’s wonderful news!”  Velvet watched him pull Grey into a hearty embrace and then kiss the boy’s cheek before pulling Maggie from her seat, hugging her and bending to kiss her cheek as well.  “Congratulations.”  He said again.

“Thank you.”  Maggie said shyly, still hardly able to keep her eyes off the table. 

“When are you Due?”  Velvet heard Avalon ask sharply.

Maggie looked at Grey, who smiled easily at his sister.  “Summer.”  He replied vaguely, but in a tone that did not invite follow-up.

“Due?”  Velvet heard herself ask. And she felt all eyes upon her, even Maggie’s. 

Jonah chuckled into the tense stillness of the kitchen.  “She’s in shock.”  He said pleasantly. “Can you blame her?  She’s still far too young to be a grandmother.”  He said, crossing back and kissing her atop her head, before whispering in her ear “Love, Our son is going to be a father.”

Her eyebrows lifted in the middle and her mouth opened in an ‘o’.  “Grey?”

Grey met her eyes and his lips quirked into something like a smile, his expression almost bittersweet.  “Surprised?”

“Maggie?”

Maggie blushed and smiled weakly at her mother-in-law and gave a little nod of affirmation.

Velvet knew, for certain, in that moment, that he’d married her because she’d gotten pregnant; and the image of Vaughan Grey’s arrogant, selfish face swam, unbidden, to the forefront of her mind and she quite suddenly began to weep uncontrollably.

“Velvet?”  Jonah’s voice was all concern and Grey’s joined in, “Mum?  Are you alright?”

Soon others at the table were asking, Jonah had Ava put the kettle on for more tea and Velvet felt ridiculous.  It was as if someone had pushed a button and opened floodgates.  She felt foolish and embarrassed and perfectly awful for ruining the big announcement.

“I’m so happy!”  She managed to force out through chattering teeth and sobs, earning nervous laughter from a few parties around the table.  Jonah knelt beside her chair and gathered her against him and she sobbed into his neck.  “I’m so happy.”  She repeated as he patted her back soothingly.

Dimly she was aware that Ben Sinclair had helped ease the awkwardness by getting out of his seat and going over to the opposite side of the table to congratulate the couple, which cued all her daughters to follow suit.

By the time all the family had congratulated them Velvet had managed to get herself mostly under control.  She sat up a little straighter, took her head from her husband’s shoulder and hastily swiped the wetness from her cheeks.  Sniffling and forcing herself to take reasonable breaths she smiled a watery smile at Jonah.  Her rock.  Her everything.  “I’m so sorry.”  She whispered and he smiled.

“Don’t you dare.”  He warned her playfully.  “Now go hug your son and daughter, Grandma.” 

Her eyes widened and she half giggled-half sobbed.  He helped her to her feet and when she was steady she practically flew at Maggie, wrapping the girl in a startlingly fierce embrace.  “This is absolutely wonderful.”  She told the girl passionately, holding her close, wanting to tell her so much more than was appropriate to do so in the kitchen, with all the family gathered around.  “Thank you.”  She said, pulling back enough to look deep into the girl’s dark eyes.  She wondered if the girl was frightened, or regretted her condition.  “Oh Maggie!”  She exhaled.  “I love you so much.”  And she squeezed her again, feeling the bonds of a kindred spirit, even if the poor girl was flummoxed by the overpowering surge of affection.  “And this baby will be everything to you, trust me.”  She said in an almost whisper.

“Gracias.”  Maggie said, reflexively slipping into Spanish with the heightened emotion.  “Thank you.”  She corrected shakily.

Between Jonah’s efforts and Ben’s too, the kitchen was soon bubbling with animated conversations.  Velvet heard the twins arguing playfully about whether it would be a boy or a girl, Viola wondered when, exactly it would be due, and Avalon made some comment about bridesmaid’s dresses. 

Still clinging to Maggie, Velvet felt a hand on her back and knew it wasn’t her husband.  Almost regretfully she released Maggie at last and, with a last reassuring smile that she tried to fill with all the subtext she couldn’t speak just now, Velvet spun to face her son.

He was so tall and handsome and grown up.  He looked like his father, only his eyes, her eyes, were kinder, she was sure of it.  She took his handsome face in her hands and searched those pale green eyes, trying to discover the truth that was eluding her.  “You’ve got to be good to her Grey.”  She told him at last, and she watched his bemused smile dissolve and his face grow serious.

“I know.”  He replied in a low voice.

“Grey—“

“I understand, Mum.”  He said curtly, his brows heavy over his eyes.

She swallowed and felt a trembling in her knees.  She hoped he did understand.  She hoped he would prove to be more Jonah’s son than Vaughan’s.  She pulled him into an embrace too, though this one was more guarded, wary. 

When she broke the hug she hitched a super-bright smile in place and declared with her signature verve: “We’ll have to have a baby shower!”

I'm Nervous -or- 3rd Date Woes Pt. 1

Hi Folks!

This is continuing along the lines of Nolan and Zahra's origins.  If you haven't checked them out, take a peek at Love at First Sight (in parts) and First Date (in parts), to bring you up to speed.  

This is the 3rd date.  You know what that means...

Enjoy!

PS: I love little Grey.  He tickles me pink.  I also enjoy the brothers.  Hope you do too!

************************

“I’m nervous.”  

Jonah Delaney was watching his brother pace the length of the townhouse’s wide open floor plan.  Long strides and a grim expression.  He couldn’t hide the smile playing around his lips.  He hadn’t seen Nolan this nervous since the night of the guy’s junior prom.

“You?”  He asked mildly.  “Nervous?”

Nolan let up in his rhythmic trajectory just long enough to shoot his brother a warning look. 

Jonah held up his hands to imply surrender.  “Ok.  Sorry.  Not helping.”  Jonah conceded, choking a chuckle.

“I don’t think I can do it.”  His younger brother looked miserable and wound too tight.

“You need to relax Nolan.”  Jonah said with concern.  “You’re going to psych yourself out.”

Nolan ran both hands through his hair restlessly and stared blankly at the tv screen where Grey’s video game character was doing some impressive martial arts against his opponent.  It was summer vacation and today Velvet had the girls out at some doll museum and then for some shopping—things Grey had made a show of retching over when they were mentioned over breakfast that morning.  Jonah had grinned at the boy and told him they could have a guy’s day.  

They’d just finished a good swim—Grey liked to race and also to dive, and afterward liked Jonah to throw a ball while he ran in and tried to catch it jumping through the air before splashing gloriously into the water (his mother didn’t like this activity because she was sure her son would slip on the wet cement around the pool and end up hurting himself, so this game was best played when Velvet wasn’t poolside.)—when Jonah got the call from his brother.

Grey hadn’t minded the prospect of seeing his Uncle Nolan at all.  In fact, Jonah was pretty sure the kid idolized him.  Jonah grinned.

“It isn’t funny, asshole.  I didn’t do this to you when you started flipping out about your first time with Velvet!”  Nolan snapped.  

Jonah’s eyes flicked to Grey, but the boy seemed pretty engrossed in an action sequence on the screen.  Then he gave an apologetic look to his brother.  “You’re right.  I’m sorry.”  He said contritely.

Nolan had been steadfast and sympathetic and downright inspirational when Jonah had panicked (mildly) about the prospect of making love to Velvet for the first time.  The pressure to get it right, to be perfect, to surpass all other lovers (Vaughan-fucking-Grey), had shaken Jonah to his bones and he’d been unconvinced that he would be equal to the challenge.  Nolan had come to his aid and given him a regular pep-talk!

“First time what?”  Grey asked casually.

The brothers stared at one another, wide eyed.  Neither spoke for a moment.  Maybe if they ignored him he’d shrug and forget he asked.

The boy completed a round of fast-paced button mashing, his cartoon avatar held up his hands in victory and a series of stats replaced the action.  Grey turned around on the couch and looked at them expectantly.  “First time what?”  He repeated more clearly.

One thing Jonah loved about Grey, though he was careful not to let the boy know just how fond of this he was, was how completely entitled the boy felt when it came to being involved in adult conversations.  Most kids his age would have asked the same question in a needling, underhanded, falsely bright, or cloying manner.  Grey asked it plainly, and very plainly expected to be answered.  Maybe it was the way they’d raised him, or maybe it was simply embedded in his personality, but Grey Delaney didn’t expect to be treated like a child.  He didn’t expect to be given a Disney-softened response, a pat on the head and a ‘run along and play, now’.  

And whenever some unsuspecting soul, be it a teacher or a relative or some service worker, tried to give Grey the standard line of bullshit that adults are wont to feed children?  Grey Delaney let them know their mistake in a big way.  Jonah had had to reprimand the boy accordingly, each time of course, but he was always careful to make it clear to his son that he wasn’t being punished for his curiosity, but for his inappropriate response to being stonewalled.

‘That sort of reaction isn’t going to get you the answers you were looking for—‘  Jonah would often say.

His favorite response so far was one time quite recently when Grey had looked him square in the eye, his arms crossed, his jaw set, and he’d said:  ‘But Dad, that jerk was so full of bullshit he was stinking up the house’, in reference to the headmaster of his private school who had come over for a luncheon Velvet had hosted to celebrate the end of the school year.  Grey had overheard an innuendo of some kind, bristled, and demanded to know what the joke had meant.  The headmaster had unwisely tried to brush the kid off with some pablum or outright lie (Jonah hadn’t been in the room at the time), and Grey had responded by spraying a healthy stream of air freshener onto the man’s desert, pretending it was whipped cream.

The meager collection of frothy foam created by the up-ended aerosol effect hadn’t fooled anyone, and thankfully the man didn’t hazard a bite before Velvet could remove the overly odiferous dessert plate and smooth his ruffled feathers.

Jonah had, in turn, removed Grey from the party, as he often had to do, to attempt to solicit an apology from the recalcitrant boy.

"He was hitting on Mom! And he tried to bullshit me, like I’m some stupid little kid."  Grey had sulked, when Jonah tried to explain that adults could make sexual jokes without necessarily meaning that they, themselves wished to perform the acts alluded to.  

Jonah had sighed, squeezed the kid’s shoulder and returned the frank gaze. "I know."  He’d said, startling the boy’s eyes even rounder than they already were.  “Your mother is a beautiful woman Grey; you’re going to have to get used to men paying attention to her.”

Grey had scowled impressively then.  “You should make them stop.”  He’d insisted acidly.

Jonah had been sympathetic, but firm.  “Behaving like a jealous, possessive boor doesn’t accomplish anything.”  He’d explained to his son’s furrowed brow and stony countenance.  “What kind of jerk would I look like if I pounded my chest like a gorilla at every asshole who thought he had a chance with your mother?”

Grey’s expression had slipped, then, and a small smile threatened to destroy his man-of-the-house façade.  Jonah’d winked at him.  He had cursed to show solidarity with the boy, and to let him know he wouldn’t be in trouble for his own use of forbidden vocabulary.  “Now let’s go apologize for using toxic chemicals on the man’s pie and, just this once, because you felt you were defending your mother’s honor, I’ll wave the usual sentence."

And right now his ten year old face looked serious and engaged and curious in a very grown up way.  “Your uncle has a big date tonight.”  Jonah answered honestly.

Nolan heaved a sigh and set to pacing again while Grey made a skeptical face.  “Why are you so nervous for a date?”  The boy asked disdainfully.  “You go on dates all the time.”  He had a keen nose for bullshit.  Jonah grinned at him and adjusted his glasses.  

“This is a special lady and a special date.”  He explained promptly.

Nolan glared at his brother, but what could Jonah do but shrug?  Lying and euphemizing only made Grey more determined to get answers.  Responding as honestly as possible and as promptly as possible seemed to make things go much more smoothly around Grey.

Grey narrowed his pale green eyes suspiciously and turned back to his game.  He began another round of combat, but Jonah could tell his ears were perked and he was not going to zone out again.  He was listening now.  God, damn, but Jonah loved the kid.

“Look.”  He said as his bother paced into the kitchen area to get further away from his nephew’s all too alert ears.  “I can’t remember you having any problems in this arena before.”

This didn’t comfort Nolan.  “There’s never been pressure like this before!”  He insisted, nearly in a panic.

Jonah’s eyes flicked to the kitchen clock.  “Just ticked past noon.  How about a little drink to calm you down?”  He suggested gently.

“What, you want me to be completely impotent?!”

Jonah laughed.  “One drink won’t render you useless.”

“If I start now I might not stop.”  Nolan moaned miserably, and hopped up onto the kitchen counter.  He leaned his head back against the cabinet and stared pleadingly up at the soaring ceiling of the townhouse.

Jonah pondered for a minute.  “Well, this may be a little weird for you, coming from me, but Velvet tells me that all of your previous girlfriends have been more than satisfied with your…abilities.”

Nolan’s head tilted down very slowly until he met Jonah’s eyes.  “That is weird for me, yes.” He relayed in a slow deadpan.

Jonah chuckled.  “It was meant to bolster your confidence.”  He smiled broadly.

“Velvet knows these things?”  He asked incredulously.

“Ladies talk.”  Jonah shrugged.

“And then she told you?”  He marveled, his voice climbing in pitch.  “She told my brother that I’m—apparently—a satisfying lover?!”  He sounded mortified.

Jonah cleared his throat.  “Actually, I got the impression that your partners were far more than satisfied.”  He said with a wicked grin, and watched his brother wash over red and blotchy with embarrassment.

“Well shit.”  He said, almost glumly.

Jonah raised his eyebrows.  “I’d imagine it’s better than the alternative, isn’t it?”  He asked.

Nolan rolled his eyes.  

The ‘pause’ sound effect rang from the TV and Jonah heard Grey climb off the couch and walk toward them in the kitchen.  The brothers watched him make a bee-line for the drawer Nolan and Caleb kept stocked with cookies and chips and assorted junkfood.  

“Just one.”  Jonah reminded in a casual tone.  Lecturing went right under Grey’s skin and made him switch immediately into an obstinate defiant frame of mind.  “I thought we’d grab some pizza downtown for lunch.”  He added.  A subtle bribe for good measure.

Grey cocked his head to the side thoughtfully.  “DeNino’s or Pie in the Sky?” He asked shrewdly.

Jonah knew better than to fall into the trap most people didn’t see coming.  Grey respected a person who knew their mind, and he instantly disliked indecision or deferring.  ‘Oh, whatever you want’ was an invitation for this ten-going-on-eleven year old to make your day misery.

“I prefer the crust at Pie in the Sky.”  Jonah responded dispassionately.  

Grey mulled this over as he rooted around for a particular candy bar.  When at last he’d unearthed one he could tolerate, he slid the drawer closed and nodded shortly.  “P.i.t.S. is ok this time, but next time we have to switch it up.”  He bargained.

Jonah squinted, pretending to weigh this counter offer carefully, then he, too, nodded shortly and agreed.  “That seems reasonable.”  Things went better with Grey if you let him think he had talked you into something.

“I’ll go with you next time.”  Nolan said.  “I think Denino’s has it all over Pits.”  He winked at his nephew.

Grey smiled and grabbed a juice box from the refrigerator.  To the surprise of both brothers, Grey chose not to return to the living room and the paused videogame, but chose, instead, to climb into a tall barstool beside Jonah at the kitchen island.

“So, are you nervous about having sex?”  Grey asked bluntly.

Nolan’s whole face changed so cartoonishly that Jonah couldn’t help laughing.  His brother mouthed silently a few times, and blinked a lot.  Grey jammed the little plastic straw into his juicebox and had a long sip.  He watched his uncle without mercy.  

“I’m.”  Nolan struggled.  He sent some ‘help me’ glares at Jonah, but Jonah only smiled and leaned more comfortably back on the stool.  He was enormously relieved it was his brother, and not himself, that was caught in Grey’s unflinching, pale-green scrutiny this time.  “I…am…having some…anxiety about it, yes.”  Nolan finally managed to say, sounding for all the world as though he were making his way through a linguistic mine field.

Grey frowned.  “But you said it was supposed to feel really good.”

Nolan closed his eyes, and though Jonah knew his brother wasn’t religious, it sure looked like he was praying.  Jonah himself was turning beet red from suppressed laughter.   Nolan had said that.  They’d given Grey the birds and the bees talk together.  Velvet had wanted no part in it and begged Jonah to do it.  Jonah had enlisted his brother’s help because he was afraid he’d screw it up if left to his own devices.  He had a tendency to get flowery and longwinded.  Nolan had helped keep the discussion grounded, on-track, and candid.

Now (and not for the first time) it was biting them in the ass, all their open frankness with the boy.

“It is.”  Nolan responded after a moment.  “It does.” He frowned.  “I mean, it should.”

Grey struggled with the candy wrapper, and though Jonah held out his hand in an offer to help, Grey pointedly ignored it and attacked the plastic with his teeth instead.  Jonah smiled despite himself.  “Don’t let your mother see you doing that.”  He reminded with a laugh.

Grey flashed a smile as the plastic ripped and he was able to free the candy.  Then he fixed his uncle with a serious expression.  “Then why are you afraid?”  He demanded.  “You should be glad about it.”

“The boy makes a fair point.”  Jonah said with all the seriousness he could muster.

Nolan glared at him.  “I’m very glad.”  He said patiently.  “But this is my first time with this particular person, and I—“  His stormy gray-blue eyes searched the air infront of him for the right words.  “I guess I just want everything to be perfect.”  He finished almost vulnerably.

Jonah softened.  “Nolan.”  He said quietly.  “Don’t over think it.” He advised, his voice gentle.  “Trust your instincts with this girl—they’ve served you beautifully so far.”

Nolan placed his palms on the counter on either side of him and leaned heavily upon them.  He stared at the kitchen island, concern painted all over his face.  “Jonah if she’s the one and I mess this part up—“  He couldn’t even bring himself to follow the sentence through to conclusion.

“You should give her oral sex.”  Grey interjected sagely, a mouth half-full of chocolate bar.

Jonah’s first instinct was to burst out in delighted laughter.  Having Grey around had never proven boring, and his entertainment value only seemed to increase as he grew.  He just hoped the boy wasn’t teaching all the other kids at school what he’d learned from his afternoon of sex ed with the Delaney brothers.  Because they had certainly covered more ground than your average, run of the mill ‘when a man and a woman love eachother very much’ speech.

And, judging by the latest comment out of his mouth, the boy had retained a good deal of the lesson.

He held his breath and only just barely managed not to laugh.  He didn’t want to undermine Grey’s newly acquired knowledge and nascent exploration with the terminology and the concepts.

Jonah sometimes wondered what had possessed them to answer every single one of the boy’s questions that fateful afternoon a few months back.  Maybe it was their commitment to the oath they’d made to be completely honest and one-hundred-percent open in the discussion(after all, Grey had that spectacular ingrained bullshit meter!).  Perhaps it stemmed from a desire to give the boy a healthy and positive view of sex and sexuality.  At least some of it probably sprang out of this bet-I-can-last-longer-than-you competitive streak they’d had since they were boys; each new question Grey would ask of them,  the brothers would meet eyes and silently dare the other to back down from answering.  Neither had been willing to back down first, and thus, they’d talked and explained and clarified with the boy until he’d exhausted every question and avenue known to him.  He’d seemed fascinated that there was so much more to the ‘Daddy fertilizes an egg in Mommy’s tummy’ explanation that he’d been given a few years before when the family was preparing to welcome Viola into the world, and the even more simplistic explanation Velvet had cooked up when Grey was a kindergartener and they were expecting the twins.

“Thank you Grey.”  Nolan said dryly.  “I had planned on it.”

Grey nodded approvingly and sipped his juicebox, completely unaware that his contribution to the conversation was anything other than ‘one-of-the-guys’.  Jonah grinned broadly at his brother.  Nolan did not respond in kind.

“Definitely do the oral.”  Jonah affirmed with a smirk.  “But beyond that, don’t get all wrapped up in your head about it.”  He implored.  “You said the kissing has been phenomenal.”

Nolan nodded.  Grey made a face that suggested he found kissing to be a less than appetizing activity.  Jonah felt his gut tense with unexpressed laughter.  Oral sex was fine, recommended even, but kissing a girl was on the gross side.  He was practically crying with suppressed mirth.  

“If she’s the one, Nolan, you won’t be able to mess it up.”  He reasoned when he was able to trust his voice.

Nolan widened his eyes and shook his head pityingly.  “Jonah, I can think of about a hundred different scenarios in which this night ends in disaster.”

“Turn off your brain, idiot, and follow the cues she gives you.”  Jonah said firmly.  “You know all this.  What’s this really about?”

Nolan fell silent and once again studied the surface of the kitchen island with great interest.  Hm.  

“Does your penis like her?”

Fuck.  Jonah and Nolan both burst out laughing, unable to help themselves, and then had to work very hard to soothe Grey’s bruised ego.  Nolan helped by teaching the boy some acceptable colloquialisms—explaining that it wasn’t what Grey’d said that was funny, just how he’d phrased it.

Jonah had had to excuse himself for a moment before he was able to get a grip.  When he returned Nolan was handing him a second juice box and telling him that yes, he was very attracted to her and, yes, his body responded just fine, and that wouldn’t be a problem at all, but praised him for his shrewd detective work on the matter.

Jonah cleared his throat.  “Ok, so if it’s not physiological—“  he began with a twinkle in his eye, “then it’s all psychological.”  He stared his brother down.  “What is it?”  He implored earnestly.  “What’s got you so wound up?”

Nolan pressed his fingertips into the island top and met Jonah’s eyes over Grey’s head.  “I love her.”  He said simply.

Jonah pushed his glasses up a fraction and searched his brother’s eyes.  “You said yourself you’ve loved other women.”  He reminded him gently.

Nolan pursed his lips.  “But not first.  Not until after.  Later.  Usually much later than this stage of the game.”  He looked grim and glum.

“Well.”  Said Jonah, his voice kind, “It makes the whole experience infinitely more powerful this way.”

Again Nolan ran an impatient hand through his already wild hair.  “I don’t know.”  He muttered.

The Delaney boys fell quiet, save for the hollow, wet sound of Grey draining his second juicebox. 

“Maybe I should wait.”  Nolan said weakly.  “Take more time.” It hung there limply for a moment, sad and desperate.

“What if she wants to do it, though?”  Grey challenged.

“Well said, Grey.”  Jonah affirmed without condescension.  “It isn’t exactly all your decision here, Nolan.” 

He smiled.  “The lady may be looking forward to this evening.”

“If it’s as fun as you say it is.”  Grey ventured, peering at his dad and uncle as if it might all be some elaborate practical joke they were playing on him that they’d just yet to reveal.  Like they’d made up this wild concept of sex just to mess with him.  

Jonah watched his brother drum his fingertips on the countertop with a frenetic energy that manifested from indecision and conflict.

“Can I have a word with your Dad privately Grey?”  Nolan asked.

Grey frowned fiercely.  Jonah wasn’t sure what he should do.  It was healthy for Grey to hear all this, good for him to see his uncle work through this issue.  But it was also Nolan’s private life and not simply a teachable moment for a ten year old.

 “It’s not about sex, it’s about love.”  Nolan elaborated.

Grey rolled his eyes mightily at this pronouncement and made a disgusted little sound as he hopped off the barstool and headed to throw his wrapper and empty cardboard juice boxes in the trash.  “He’s the expert.”  The boy muttered sourly, and headed back to the video game.

Jonah followed him with his eyes, bemused.  What the hell had he meant by that?  It certainly hadn’t sounded charitable.

When the grunts and cartoon punch sounds had resumed Nolan gestured toward the back patio.

Jonah followed, allowing his brother this added privacy, but positioning himself at the windowed door so he could quickly look to see what Grey was up to if necessary.  The boy was ten, so he wasn’t concerned about accidental harm; he was more concerned about intentional mischief.  Grey’s nature was, by default, that of a troublemaker.

“I think I want to tell her.” Nolan said without preamble.

Jonah’s eyebrows rose almost to his scalp.  “Really.”

His brother set to pacing—new location, same nervous habit.  “I know.  Stupid thing to do.  Three dates?  Stupid.”  He lashed himself disapprovingly.  “But I think that’s how it’s got to be.  With her.  With Zahra.”  He sighed heavily and sank unexpectedly to slump in an Adirondack deck chair.

“You’re afraid she doesn’t feel the same?”  Jonah asked softly.

Nolan nodded.  “I’m almost one hundred percent sure that this is the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, and I really believe that she’ll eventually feel the same, but Jones, she’s younger, you know?  Maybe she needs a little more time.  To get there.”  He scrubbed his fingers through his hair savagely.  “Three dates?  I just don’t want to move too fast and scare her away.”  He despaired.

“So maybe don’t tell her with words.  Perhaps you should let your actions express how you feel.”

Nolan sighed.  “I want us to both feel the same way before we take the next step.”  He said, sounding resolute but powerfully regretful.

“That’s very noble and romantic.”  Jonah said.

“No.”  Nolan argued.  “It’s idiotic and it’ll probably cost me the most amazing woman that’s ever come into my life.”

Jonah chuckled.  “Well, since sex seems to be one of your leading talents—“  He smiled.  “—you may be doing yourself a disservice here…”

“Shut up.”  His brother groused.

“Is she expecting it?  Tonight?  Do you think?”  Jonah asked in a placating gone.

“Honestly?”  Nolan asked.  He looked for Jonah’s nod to go ahead.  “I think she’s wanted it since the afternoon we met, Jones.”  He blew air out through his lips and closed his eyes.  “God knows I have.  It’s all I can think about.  Her face, her body, her hair, her eyes.  The smell of her.  That voice that makes me hum.”  When his eyes re-opened they were blazing with intensity.  “I’m the biggest idiot in the world, aren’t I?”

Jonah tilted his head to the side and pursed his lips.  He tried never to answer rhetorical questions of that nature.

Nolan nodded.  “I’m a fucking moron.”  He concluded.  “I’m going to do what you said.”

Jonah stood a little straighter, always wary of people taking his advice out of context. 

“I’m going to get out of my own fucking way.”  His brother rose to his feet, a newfound determination fueling a sudden energy.  “I’m going to lay my heart out there on the table in every way I possibly can, besides words, and see how she responds.”  His eyes were focused on some future developments Jonah couldn’t see. “I’ll know.  I’ll be able to tell.”

Jonah frowned.  “This sounds a bit like a trap.”  He cautioned.  “Don’t set yourself up with too many expectations—“

“How d’you think Velvet would feel about having us over for dinner tonight?”  Nolan asked suddenly.

Jonah’s eyes went large.  “You want your third date to be a double date?  At a house full of kids?”  He queried, wondering if his brother had lost his marbles.

Nolan nodded.

“Jesus, Nole, I think you’d better run that by Zahra.”  He said firmly, but not unkindly.  “There’ll be plenty of time for us to get to know her—I’m sure of it.”

Nolan shook his head.  “No.  I need to know—“  He said cryptically.  “Can you call her?  Velvet?  Right now, and ask?  I’ll bring the wine, obviously.  Just ask. Please?”

Nolan didn’t wait for an answer, just pushed past a dumbfounded Jonah, into the house, and bounded for the telephone.  “Better yet—how about I cook here and you all come over—is that too hard with the baby?”

Jonah trailed back into the cool of the townhouse and closed the door against the roasting July noon day sun.  “Nolan.”  Jonah didn’t know what to say.

“I have that portable high chair thing; we should be good, right?  I can turn the sprinkler on for the girls—I’ll probably grill or something—whaddaya say?  Can you make it?  You don’t have other plans, right?  I’ll get Caleb home too.”

His brother was flushed with excitement, his handsome face set with determination.

Jonah sighed.  He looked at Grey, whose game was paused again and who was already staring at him, his face a question mark.  He’d have to pull the boy aside and coach him on what was and was not appropriate to say about sex at the dinner this evening.

“What time would you like us here?”  He fixed his most encouraging smile on his face and hoped to hell his brother knew what he was doing.