Jonah sat at the desk in his study... (PT 1)

 Let's take a step back in time shall we?  And see history repeating, or for the first time...

This is the old Jonah and Grey in the study with a problem, but Grey's still just a youngin here, in high school.

This ended up being super long so I've decided to post it in halves.  This, of course, be the firste halfe, arrrrrgh.  (sometimes you feel like a pirate...)

And next ye shall recieve the conclusion.

There was a bit of  bombshell in this one that surprised me as I wrote it.  I remember sitting back on the couch with a big "Whew!" all stunned and surprised.

and Aaron was like:  "What's up?"

And I said:  "i just found something out about Jonah.  Something big."

"Bigger than incest rape?"

"Well no, but I already knew about THAT!"

Anywho, enjoy!

 *************

Jonah sat at the desk in his study, his hands folded in his lap, waiting for his son to sit.  He watched the boy pace for several full minutes, and kept quiet and still.  In his mind he ran through the possibilities.  The boy could be in trouble academically; he could be failing.  But Jonah suspected the school would have contacted him directly about that.  Perhaps it was another discipline issue?  Grey had wreaked his share of havoc at the costly private boarding school, and Jonah wouldn’t be at all surprised to learn he’d caused some more expensive damage in the execution of some practical joke or prank or stunt.  Again, though, precedent told him that the school would have contacted him directly.

He’d rarely seen Grey quite this nervous.  If it wasn’t school related then what might it be?  He’d arrived in the car, so it wasn’t an automobile accident.  Was it possible he was in debt somehow?  From gambling?  Jonah doubted it.  Grey was an excellent gambler.  But maybe he’d met his match and lost his shirt?

He rubbed his thumbs back and forth slowly, pursed his lips and tried not to go anywhere darker with the imaginings.  What good would it do to work himself into a worry when the boy was so close to sharing his secret?  He focused on breathing and remaining calm.

“Ok.”  Said Grey, running his hands through his hair and still treading a path in the carpet.  He pushed a gust of air through his lips and tried again.  “Ok.”  He insisted, clearly trying to psych himself up.

Jonah swallowed.  His eyes flicked to the clock.  If Grey wanted to get this out before Velvet and the girls got home he guessed the boy had maybe another half hour at best.

“I’m ready when you are.”  He said patiently, and he hoped he meant it.  A knot was forming in his gut as Grey drew minutes into a quarter of an hour since he’d pulled in and declared he needed to talk, had something ’very important’ to discuss, just the two of them.

“Ok.”  Grey nodded now.  “You can’t tell Mom.”

Ah Shit.  “I tell your mother everything.”

“Then I’m not telling you.” Responded Grey, as if he’d anticipated that response, and headed for the study door.

“Wait!”  Jonah called, spreading his hands on the surface of the desk and standing.  Grey paused, his hand on the doorknob.  Jonah licked his lips.  Fuck.  “Why don’t you tell me and we’ll determine whether or not your mother needs to know.”  Jonah told his wife everything.  But some things were between men.  Private. 

“I doubt you’ll want to tell her.”  Grey said with a short, humorless laugh.

Jonah’s brows knit together.  “She loves you more than anything—she’d probably want to know if you were in some kind of trouble.”

Jonah watched Grey’s shoulders slump a fraction and his face become taught. 

“I don’t want her to know.” 

Jonah held his breath for a long moment before sighing it out.  “I understand.”  He said gently.  And he did.  Grey loved his mother, was good to her, and never wanted to disappoint or upset her.  He didn’t seem to give two shits about hurting or upsetting his dear old dad, even sometimes seemed to revel in it, but his mother was a different story.  “Maybe if you phrase it in such a way—“  Jonah began, and Grey’s big green eyes shot up to meet his dad’s.

“Ok.”  Grey nodded.

“Ok.”  Jonah agreed and sat back down, gesturing for Grey to join him.

“Ok.”  Grey repeated, setting himself on the edge of one of the chairs in front of Jonah’s desk as if ready to spring at the slightest provocation. 

“So tell me how I can help you.”  Jonah said in a measured, even tone.

“I need money.”

Jonah didn’t speak right away.  Money.  Money wasn’t so terrible.  Did he need to buy something?  Or was it the gambling afterall?

“You receive a fairly healthy stipend—“  Jonah said mildly.  Grey was wealthy, but he was also a minor and his access to the funds he had in trust was strictly limited and carefully monitored; Jonah had made sure of that when the boy was three years old.  Made sure that Grey wouldn’t be able to take control of his fortune until he’d completed his undergraduate degree or until he reached the age of twenty-five, whichever came first.  So Grey was enormously wealthy, but for now he was just another kid on an allowance, perhaps a more generous allowance than most, but a regulated and monitored allowance nonetheless. “—so I’m to assume that the funds you require exceed the stipend?”

Grey sucked in his cheeks.  And nodded.

Alright.  “Would an ‘advance’ on next month’s allowance cover it?”  Jonah tried.

Grey tilted his head to the side and glared at Jonah.  “I’m not a fucking idiot Dad, If that’s all I needed I could get it from playing cards or hit up one of my friends.”

“I’ll thank you to keep a civil tongue please.”  Jonah said non-threateningly and Grey rolled his eyes.  “Maybe we should just drop the pretense and you tell me what’s going on.  Given that we’re a little short on time and temper right now.”

Grey looked tempted but hesitated.  “Mom?”

A muscle ticked in Jonah’s cheek and he selected his words carefully.  “I’m not going to lie to you- I don’t know if I can keep something from her.”

“Dad, I’m telling you, you won’t want to tell her.”

“Christ Grey, what kind of trouble are you in?”  Jonah felt his heart skip and then ratchet up in beats per minute. 

The boy wiped his palms on his knees and pushed his shoulders down.  He took a full breath.  “I got a girl pregnant.” 

Jonah’s lips parted slightly and he blinked.  “I see.”

The two stared at one another, unblinking for several moments.  Jonah was livid.  And Disappointed.  And pitying.  And terrified.  And sick over it.

“And I need to pay for the abortion.”  Grey added unnecessarily. 

“I believe you have enough for that.”  Jonah said, clearing his throat and wishing he were saying something more like:  ‘How the fuck could you be so stupid?  What the fuck were you thinking?  Jesus, Christ Grey!’

Grey’s mouth pulled into a tight-lipped smile.  “And she wants extra.”

Ah.  “Extra.”  Jonah repeated.  “Is she blackmailing you?”

“No.”  Grey answered.  “She just, wants to be compensated.”

Jonah took a moment to adjust his glasses.  “How old is the young lady?”

“My age.”

Seventeen.  Jonah swallowed.  The age Velvet had been when she’d become pregnant with Grey.

“And are the two of you serious?”  Jonah asked carefully.

Grey snorted.  “Fuck no.”

Jonah tisked.  “Grey.”  He warned, referring to the language.  He’d made a deal with the boy that after he turned eighteen Jonah would stop harping on him for the language, as long as he promised to be respectful around his mother and aunts and other such appropriate persons.  But he wasn’t eighteen yet and he was pushing his luck. 

“No, we aren’t serious.”  Grey amended dutifully.  Jonah nodded.  To his knowledge Grey had never really been in a long-term relationship at all.  He’d never yet brought a young lady home to ‘meet the family’, for instance.  “We didn’t even really date.”

Jonah raised his eyebrows and sighed.  “You’re telling me you had unprotected sex with a near stranger?”

Grey paled and swallowed.  “Yes, sir.”  He mumbled contritely.

Jonah steepled his fingers and brought them to his face, his thumbs on his lips, and he closed his eyes.  He could lecture him.  He could chew him out.  He could rage and scold and fume and none of it would get him anywhere.  “Have you been tested?”  He asked quietly, knowing that the fear he felt was not well hidden when he spoke.

“She was a virgin.”  Grey answered.

Jesus Goddamn Christ.  “I see.” 

“I get tested regularly.”  Grey added, a touch smug.

Jonah didn’t want to think about how regularly was ‘regularly’ in Grey’s book.

“Before each new partner.”  Jonah said, rather than asked.  It was what he’d insisted the boy do.  When he became aware that his son had started fooling around.  More than two years before.

Grey nodded and Jonah studied him, trying to determine if the boy was lying. 

“Is there—does she—was there any discussion about keeping the child?  Carrying it to term?” Jonah felt the knot in his stomach tighten painfully.  He looked at the clock.  Velvet would be home soon.

Grey narrowed his eyes.  “No.”

Jonah felt himself standing before he’d really made the decision to stand, and it was his turn to pace.  “Grey Delaney, I need to know that you did not pressure this young lady in any way.  Not in the first place, and not now.” 

Grey made a derisive sound.  “She knew what she was doing.”  He said in answer.  Jonah stopped dead and stared the boy down.

“Do you want to re-think how you just answered me, young man?”

Grey pursed his lips and set his jaw obstinately.  “I didn’t pressure her.”  He responded firmly.  “I asked her more than once if she was sure, if she was ready, and there can be no doubt about any of it.”  He said with an edge of steel.  “I don’t need to fucking rape girls Dad.”  He was glowering at the desk, not looking at his father.

“And now?”

“Now, what?”

“Are you pressuring her to get this procedure?  Is that what the ‘extra’ funds are about?”

Grey swallowed and hesitated just long enough for Jonah to recognize he was about to get a line of bullshit.

“Save it.”  Jonah said, holding up a hand, his face twisting in disgust.  He pressed his fingers into his brow and massaged deeply.  Jesus Christ.  On the one hand he needed to make it clear that Grey was conducting himself like a perfect bastard.  An ass.  A son of a bitch.  A man without honor.

On the other hand a baby drama was nothing a seventeen year old boy with his entire future ahead of him needed.  If the girl hadn’t been a virgin Jonah might even have suspected the girl of playing Grey for money. 

“I’m glad you came to me.”  Jonah forced himself to say, though it sounded more dull and lifeless than he’d wanted.

“Will you help me?”

Jonah winced.  “I will.” 

He felt Grey relax into his chair and wondered if the boy’s knees were shaking as much as his own.  “But my help comes at a price.”

Grey looked up very slowly and studied his father for a moment.  Then he nodded.

Jonah nodded back and seated himself on the corner of the desk.  “First, you’re going to need to listen to me, and hear me on this, will you do that?”

Again Grey nodded, solemn and penitent.  Jonah had a feeling the kid was playing him, but he had to perform his fatherly duties, couldn’t let the lecture go unsaid, and all he could do was hope some of it penetrated his son’s thick, arrogant skull.

“You are not immortal.”  To his credit Grey managed to keep a straight face.  Jonah had expected an eyeroll at least.  “Nor are you as lucky as you may have been led to believe with past precedent.”  Grey nodded slightly, acknowledging that there was no need to pretend this unprotected sex was a once-and-only thing.  “There are very real and very permanent and too often very tragic consequences for the activities you’ve chosen to make your sport.”  Grey’s nostrils flared, but otherwise he remained passive.  “And I know you to be of above average intelligence, which is why I know you understand me, and that you damn well know better, Grey.” 

Grey’s big green eyes sank to the floor and again he nodded.  “And of course I’m not telling you not to engage in physicality, I’m not unrealistic, and there’s nothing wrong or shameful about expressing your sexuality, but there are wrong ways and right ways of going about it son.”

Jonah thought he heard a bored sigh, but what the hell was he supposed to do?  Sweep this under the rug without a word?

“And you, being who you are, should be especially careful.”

The young man looked up cautiously.  “Being who I am?”  He asked, genuinely non-plussed.

“Calder Grey Delaney.”  Jonah answered.  When Grey still looked somewhat puzzled Jonah smiled softly.  “It is far more likely for people to know you before you know them.”  He explained.  “Because of your inheritance.  Because of your mother.”  Grey started to look like he understood and his eyes glazed over a bit.  “It is not out of the realm of possibility that someone may seek to entrap you or force your hand because they know you to be wealthy.”

Grey’s shoulders bunched up and he rubbed two fingers under his chin, deep in thought.

“And as for the way you choose to conduct yourself with young women.”  Jonah said, and this time Grey couldn’t help the eye-roll.  “C’mon Grey.”

Grey shook his head, and refused to meet Jonah’s eyes.

“Son, you can’t pressure a young woman into terminating—I know it seems rational and logical and like it makes perfect sense, and I can’t say I disagree necessarily, but you need to be compassionate—“

“Dad—“

“No, Grey, I’m not done.”  Grey huffed but didn’t press.  Jonah took a breath and continued.  “Their bodies are their own, and you need to let them make the decision, and like it or not son, you’ll need to step up to your obligation if they decide to go the other way with it.”

“Jesus Christ.”  Grey muttered and Jonah had the urge to shake him. 

“How would it have been if your mother had met with the same pressure you’re putting on this young woman?”  Jonah asked sternly.

Grey stiffened.  “Shut, The Fuck, Up.”

Jonah nodded, staring at the top of the boy’s head.  He still refused to meet Jonah’s eyes.  “She was seventeen, you know.”

“I said.  Shut. Up.”  Grey ground out.

“I want you to think about that everytime you’re even toying with the idea of going unprotected.”  Jonah said grimly.  “And think of it if ever, God forbid, some accident brings you back to a place like this again.”  He cast his eyes to the heavens and pleaded with the fates to keep Grey out of this kind of trouble in the future.  “Because if you treated every woman with the respect and honor your give your mother I know you won’t find yourself in this trouble again.”

Grey stood abruptly, startling Jonah.  “You need to shut your fucking mouth about my mother you son of a bitch.”

Jonah’s lips tightened.  He licked the insides of his teeth and tried to count himself down from ten in order to remain mild.  “Sit down and I’ll tell you what we’re going to do.”  Jonah said patiently.

Grey growled.  “I’ll get the money some place else.”  He spat venomously, and spun to leave, but Jonah grabbed his elbow securely.

“Alright, calm down, I told you my help came at a price, calm down, I’ve said my peace.”  He had wanted to address the virgin thing.  Tell him about the responsibility.  But he’d done that before.  More than once.  And he didn’t want to squander any more of the slim advantage he still retained with the boy.  He couldn’t have his son storming out, neck deep in trouble, and feeling as though he had nowhere to turn.

Grey jerked his arm forcefully but Jonah held firm.  “I don’t need to hear anything about Mum.”  Grey said, his voice heated and defensive.

“No more.”  Jonah promised.  “Except this:”  He felt the muscles in Grey’s arm pull into stone and watched his spine lengthen and become rigid.  Jonah suspected that if he said the wrong thing, Grey would be ready to take a swing at him.  “I don’t believe I will tell her about this.”  He said sadly, and Grey turned his head, not enough to look Jonah in the face, but enough to sneak a glance out of the corner of his eye.  “Because I really think it would break her heart.” Jonah said plainly.  “And I think you do to.”

The boy’s profile was stony.

“So let’s sit and I’ll tell you what I think will be the best course of action.”  Jonah said, releasing Grey’s elbow and holding his breath.  He never knew with Grey.  Never knew if he was making a bit of headway or getting through at all.

A minute ticked by before Grey finally turned on his heel and sat back down.  Now his face was a mask, his eyes cold and expressionless.

Jonah rose and moved around behind his desk and sat, pulling himself forward and exhaling.  “Ok, first thing’s first:  you did the absolute best possible thing coming to me.  And even though I’m a pain in the ass, I want you to know you can always, always come to me and I will do everything in my power to help you.  Understand?”

Grey’s eyes flicked onto his and Jonah thought he saw something real flash behind the façade, but it was so quick, so slight, that he couldn’t be certain.  “Thank you.”  Grey responded with no particular inflection or emotion.  “I will.”

The knot in Jonah’s belly squirmed.  “I don’t want you trying to deal with things like this on your own—and I want you to know that no problem is unsolveable.”

Grey smiled blandly. 

Jonah licked his lips and adjusted his glasses.  “Allright.  I’ll make sure the money is in your account.  You should make sure that the child is yours, so I’ll make sure you have the money for the blood test.  And listen—even if it isn’t yours, it’s absolutely no skin off your back to help the girl out with the money for an abortion if she wants one, but don’t feel the need to dole out that ‘extra’ money, or you’ll be a target for blackmail, understand?”

Grey’s eyes narrowed shrewdly.  “Yes.”  The answer was curt but clear.

“Ok, and if it is yours and she opts for the procedure of her own free will I expect you to be a perfect gentleman.”  Jonah said with a heavy heart.

Grey’s brows flickered.

“It is your responsibility to escort her to any appointments she requires, your responsibility to be there for her during and after—see that she has everything she requires to be comfortable and feel safe and secure.”  Jonah pressed his fingertips into the solid wood of the desk surface and sighed slightly.  “Even when the decision is clear and the girl has no qualms, it is still an unpleasant business and there are deep psychological and physical ramifications.  So.  Be kind, Son.”

“Have you done this before?”  Grey asked in a peeved voice.

“Once.”  Jonah replied, and swallowed.

“Holy shit.”  Grey responded, a bit in awe.  He evidently hadn’t been expecting an answer in the affirmative.

“I was about your age.”  Jonah confessed.

“You’re serious.”

“I am.”

Grey’s eyes were wide, his brows up, and he was shaking his head back and forth weakly.  “I’d have pegged you for the kinda guy who’d marry the girl.”

Jonah’s mouth curved into a fragile, bittersweet smile.  “I offered.”  He said.  “She declined.”

“Christ.”

“Hmmm.”  Responded Jonah.

“Why?”

“She wanted to go to college, well so did I, and there was the matter of our parents of course too.  We were very young.”

“And you weren’t wearing protection.”  Grey’s face was absolutely neutral but there was a slight lift in the tone that crept under Jonah’s skin.

“It was a different time.  And we were in love.”

Grey didn’t say anything.  Just stared at Jonah.

There was a muffled metallic click and the familiar sound of the front door opening somewhere beyond the closed study door, followed by the buoyant and animated chatter of Velvet and the girls, deeply engrossed in several various conversations.

Jonah sat up a little straighter and so did Grey.  “Allright, I want you to leave the amount you’re thinking, and the girl’s name.  You and I can meet tomorrow when I get out of work- I know you’ll have to miss swim practice, but I think the sooner the better, don’t you?  I’ll have everything ready.  Let’s meet at the shoppe?”

“Why there?”  Grey sounded leery.

“I’ll pick up something, visit with Nolan for a few, and then we’ll say we’re grabbing coffee.”  It was a cover.  Velvet could check and everything would seem perfectly on the up and up.  Just father and son stuff.  Velvet likely would not check.  He’d never given her cause to worry or feel the need to keep tabs on him.  Nevertheless.

“Jonah?”  Velvet called from what sounded like maybe the kitchen.  It was very far away from the study, wherever it was.

“Four?”  Jonah asked Grey as he stood and crossed around to where Grey was also rising.

“Four at the wine shop.”  Grey agreed and held out his hand.  “Thank you.”

Jonah stared at it for a moment and then grasped it, but pulled the boy into a hug.  “I love you.”  He told him bracingly.  “And I’m always here.”

Grey accepted the hug somewhat stiffly.  “Thank you.”  He mumbled again.  “I know.”

Jonah released him and crossed to the study door just as he heard another “Jonah?”  From somewhere and now a cheerful “Da-aa-ad!” added to the search.  He chuckled.

“You ready?”  He asked Grey quietly, his hand on the doorknob.

Grey rolled his head around, producing a satisfying few popping noises, pushed his shoulders down and nodded.  Then he broke into a convincing smile.

“We were discussing your grades.”  Jonah told him.  “You’re not failing but you’re struggling with—“

“Anatomy.”  Grey said without blinking.

“You’re such a wise ass.”  Jonah said, shaking his head.  He took a breath, hitched his own bright smile into place and opened the door, calling:  “Don’t send the search party, I’m in here!”