BORED at Work

Well.

hi.

I'm at work.  Computer lab time.

A1S1 was a minor disaster today, and I had some of my major players not show up, and we had to work in a completely useless space, and the kids were off the wall.  I heart them, I do, and I want their show to be fabulous, but...

yeah.

Bright spot: I get to babysit the dazzling Miss Z tonight!  And Danielle bribes me to do this by buying me Chatta for dinner!  Lol.  I tell her all the time that there is no bribery necessary, especially when Z is as adorable as she is.  But.  Knowing I'm having Chatta for dinner does dispel some of my cloudy mood.
As, of course, does knowing I'll be seeing my Bestie and her lil bean.

So.  The writing.  Harumph.  I had this burst of a breakthrough a little while ago, but it has since retreated.  I don't know.  I really believe I turned off a fundamental switch inside of me when I decided it was only for recreation.  It really felt like a fucking kill switch.  Which doesn't make much sense, really, because I only started writing Cedar Falls as recreation in the first place.

Feels like a relationship.  We swore it'd just be 'for fun', then it got a little serious, a little more serious for one of us, feeling got involved, I started imagining a future, and then WHAM.  Nope.  Not gunna happen.  Can we go back to being friends?

I'm giving it the old college try, but nothing is how it was.  I read a vignette or more EVERY SINGLE DAY hoping it'll spark something.  But.  Nah.  I enjoy reading them, I enjoy thinking about them, but I fear the magic is permanently disabled.

But.  Admittedly, I am burnt out.  I really needed a vacation after a very long year, and I haven't had that vacation yet.  And what little snippits of vacation-esque time I do wrest from the clutches of a soul-sucking summer, well, I treasure those moments that I can spend with my husband, or with friends, or family, relaxing, bonding, and most definitely not immersed in my head or in Cedar Falls.

But I miss it.  I miss sitting down and just writing.  I wish I'd never been so awfully critical of it.  I wish i'd never tried to define it or make it something it wasn't.

This post is going to be interminable because I need it to be.

The other goal, besides writing, that I have this summer will be the apartment renovations.  Big plans.  Lotta work.  And then?  LESSON PLANNING!  I am beginning to recognize that I may need to go ahead and lesson plan BEFORE the apartment transformation is complete.  But Aaron was to be building me this fabulous desk, all of my very own, for the purposes of lesson planning and school teachering.  Can you see my shoulders shrugging?

We regret that we did not really get to have guests\friends over this summer, but, alas.  maybe.  Maybe we'll pull it all together in time for, like, a labor day party or something!

Alright.  I actually need to stop now, else I will just keep blathering on. times infinity.

Things I love today:
Aaron
Summer
Chatta for Dinner
Z!
Trueblood yummmm
Strawberry smoothie from Panera
Not being at the Pawsox ;)
My pocketbook (it's great)
Air conditioning
The fresh fruit smoothie waiting for me in my fridge
My freckles!
That I only have about 2 and a half hours left in my workday :)