Renovations!

This will read as monday, but it is really still sunday night for me.

I woke up this morning, discouraged by all the cleaning still left to do, and a funny thing happened.

I picked up my netty and wrote.

I haven't written in months.

The characters are in my head, swirling constantly, evolving, having scenes, making choices... but I haven't been capturing any of it.  Haven't been able to, for whatever reason.

This  morning, out of the blue, I was able to type away, telling part of Nolan's story.

It isn't great, but it isn't utter shit either.  I'd say it's right on par with the main body of the Cedar Falls stuff.

Amen, right?

Best part is that I'm thinking this will lead t more... crossing my fingers.

Meanwhile, I stuill have oodles of CF yet to share with you, so get ready for your monthly installment.  Did you read all the June ones? 

July promises to be tons of fun.  I'll let you know when I update.

Didn't actually do any cleaning today, btw.  The house is still a fucking disaster.  But we have big plans.  HUGE.  You won't even believe the transformation when all is said and done... IF all gets said and done.

Don't get too excited; our plans for apartment re-design do NOT include a nursery.  The jury's still out on that one, but it isn't looking too favorable, I gotta say.

Aaron says NO DECISIONS are to be made on the subject, and that any decisions I do make or have made are invalid, inconsequential, and ridiculous. 

I just wish my decision to not have children didn't make me feel so nihilistic.  I thought it would be freeing and inspire me to live my life more fully, but really it fills me with a sort of malaise, a wash of 'meh' about everything--which I can't decide if it is better than the extreme depression I was feeling about not already having children and still having no hope of being ready enough to have children any time soon...

Jury's still out.

I'll be sure to keep you clued in when I know anything.

AND I'll keep you posted on the apartment improvements!

On the to do list:

Bookshelf that is really a secret door with a secret closet!
Amazing kitchen Island that contains a secret desk for all my teacher-y needs and wants!
Incredibly awesome Tetris inspired wall shelves for the enormous focus wall!
Paint, paint, paint, paint!  Color, color, color, color!
A craft room with craft platform space!
A newly upholstered couch & amazing tetris inspired accent pillows!
Big old re-arrange and re-purposing!

Holy god, can someone make the summer a few months longer, please?