Guest!

I didn't sleep easy last night. We had a ton of cleaning left to do but the butterflies and snakes in my belly were so persistent and all-consuming that I decided to "rest", which turned into watching MST3K and falling asleep. The butterflies? A mild panic attack I'm pretty sure.

I want the house. We want to start our lives. It isn't going to happen anytime soon. life is setting me up for some kind of big lesson, but as I can already see it coming the meanwhile is so bitter and painful that I ache and long and yearn and ache. When I was a little girl I was sure it was the rectory... now its Arlington Street, and neither seems to be meant to be!

Yesterday, the 27th, was our anniversary- 12 years together. I know we have a wedding anniversary now too, but I don't like the idea of just forgetting this one, though that's precisely what we did!

Instead of doing something romantic to commemorate the day we had Jeff over! What a blast! We made delicious food, engaged in irreverent conversation, daydreamed aloud and then played an assortment of games.

12 years. We're ready for a house. We're ready for a family. and yet we're not.

It was great to have Jeff over. He always makes us dream and hope and reach for all our potential. Tonight I'll dream of big old houses, of candy shoppes and little kids with Aaron's eyes, of joy and kitchens and lavender and taffy.