Terrible, Horrible No-Good, Very Bad Mood :{

Birthdays?

Pretty nice.

i like them low-key, despite my penchant for sweeping drama and extravagant gestures. In the history of my birthdays, yesterday's was pretty sweet. I got the chance to hang with friends, visit a farm, choose pumpkins, drink Mary Lou's and ponder life.

Had a rum drink.

Had great conversation.

Held the cutest bean.

Searched the soul.


Still no answers. A day on a calendar doesn't bring epiphany. The passage of a year doesn't automatically summarize itself and draw conclusions.

It's as if I need the cliff's notes of my life here. Or a more user-friendly translation of the text with annotated footnotes.

I think i'd like to lay out some goals for the coming year and see about really sticking to them. How's that sound? Ok, sounds like trite hogwash and new-age hokum, but i'mma prolly do it anyway.


I'll think on it and post soon.

On today's agenda? After waking up in a BEAR of a nasty mood (wrong side of the bed? Wrong side of the fucking universe!), I now need to skip a day of subbing in order to clean this house from tip top to bottom in order to prepare for a houseguest's arrival tomorrow.

this houseguest is allergic to cats.

yup.

So when I'm talking cleaning, i'm talking cleaning!! All by my lonesome. Which might be for the best, since Aaron and i tend to get into cataclysmic, soul-rending, relationship shattering arguments when we have to clean in tandem (most times). But there's a ton to do, not a ton of time in which to tackle it, and not alot of enthusiasm bubbling up inside me to get me through it.

I have to work aftercare this afternoon, so there's only a limited amount of time to do all this, which means no pleasure reading (D just let me borrow the next few Sookie books!!), no pleasure editing (i bet Andrea is thinking- 'pleasure editing?!?!?!?', but yeah, I like re-reading my yet-to-be-published shit and tweaking!), and no pleasure writing. Grrr.

And to think. Danielle almost had me convinced yesterday that being tired and grumpy wasn't so bad, and that I'd be able to manage a baby... She's a convincing debater, but good fucking god, I am such a raging cunt this morning! My cat came up to give me love and I practically screamed at him to get the fuck off me. Nic, beth, good work. Now imagine a toddler, who might actually need something from you other than cuddles and a lap to purr on.

yikes-a-roni.


Who knows what the future holds? But promise me, if I do have children, that you will all be extra kind to him\her\them? Just know that while in front of company I may be sweet-as-pie, but at home i am likely an open-face bitch sandwich on rye.

Now i kinda want a sandwich.

Pray to the domestic gods for me today, will ya?

hearts.

What's that surly boy in the book say? i wish i could just move to Australia!