A plea to no one in particular. Ignore it.

Ok.

I don't think I've ever really had a panic attack.

I've seen aaron have one or two in our time, and I don't think I'm experiencing that...

But I am teetering on the edge of something pretty perilous here.

I am sitting here seriously wondering how I'll make it through the day, and how I'll make it through the next day, and the day after that.


What the fuck am I going to do?

Aaron says happiness is something you choose. 

I really don't know.

Is it acceptable to hide under my desk?

Jesus christ.

I don't want to be here.  I'm such an asshole, I know, I know.  I'm a ridiculous, awful person.  I know.

and I know I can't quit.  I know.

There are so many things I know--so why do I feel so fucking lost and clueless?


whatthefuckamigoingtodo????????????????????????????????????????????????????????


oh my godohmygodohmygod.  I need to go home.  I really do.  Holy shit.  What the fuck? 


This is bananas.

It is almost comic.  Sitting here typing my internal monologue in the hopes that it will exorcise some of it.  Ha. 

Oh my god.  I can't teach a class while on the verge of tears.  helphelphelphelphelp.

Ok.  time to buck up.  Time to pull my shit together.

8th graders, like predators, can smell fear.

They thrive on exploiting vulnerabilities.

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