Giddy with freedom?

wrote two scenes (or almost scenes) longhand during the MEPA testing this week.  Both two-person scenes, both sorta disturbing in their very different ways.

It felt good to write creatively again.  I don't know where my head has been, but it wasn't in working on this story.  It feels good to be back.

But do you even understand how many scenes I have scrawled in various legal pads hither and thither?  Ugh.  I need to type all that shit up?  Yeah.  Right.  Can someone find me a dozen extra hours per day?  Oh, and don't even get me started on the overarching philosophical debate of:  What the hell is this all for?  Because wo the fuck knows, who the hell cares, and why the hell not?

If I wanna waste (yes waste) my time scribbling woefully subpar fiction into notebooks or notebook computers, that is my business, and if it makes me happy (most of the time), then lemme jerk off as I will!

Both scenes are flashbacks, one very provocative one with Velvet and Vaughan when she's supposedly left him and going to marry Jonah~ titilating!

The other is trying to get into HOW IT HAPPENED, or, as I like to say: What the Fuck went wrong with Viola??  Lol.  People are always asking me 'WHY?!?!?!?'  about how come she wants to drug and rape her dear old dad.  Why does anybody do anything, lol.  Shrug.  No, kidding.  I jest.  So I have been crafting some flashbacks to start to get more background on her falling in love, then deciding to force the situation.

It's wicked fun, or super creepy, depending on your point of view I guess.  It's all:  Oh, Dad, can I talk to you? I think I like someone.  You know, LIKE Like, but the problem is that he's unavailable, oh woe id me, what can I ever do? bat eyelashes, little forhead kisses, gazes that try to convey the love that dare not speak its name and all that.  WEIRD, right?  lol.  I couldn't decide if I was creeped out or giddy with naughty excitement when I was writing and re-reading.

And the Velvet one is going to really push the envelope (Push it further than the budding incest rape scene?  Sure thing folks, I say what I mean and I mean what I say!)!  Oh that rascally Vaughan Grey, what shenanigans will her get up to next???

Anyways.

I feel like I kinda hate the CF blog right now because it is so fucking far behind where I want to be.  I only did it because people were telling me I should, but guess what?  Those people's advice was well intentioned, but I'm not sure anyone's even reading that site at all, so what was the fucking point?  Maybe I'll just go back to throwing my work up here willy nilly, all hap-hazard like and, since nothing will ever happen with this shite anyway, say 'damn the torpedoes' or something equally saucy but infinitely more appropriate to the situation at home.

I'm a little punchy.  Being home alone is making me feel rebellious and silly.

I made my very own quesadillas for dinner and they were yum city!

Now I'm waiting for the phone call to pick Aaron and he-who-shall-not-be-fucking-mentioned up at the PAX convention is Bosstown.  Think Bosstown will catch on as a thing people say?  It rocks the socks right off fucking Bean Town, gross.  who even says that?  geck.

Guess what?  I totally still haven't even rinsed my dish, nor have I put away the salsa!  Oooooh, I'm tellinnnnnnnnnn!!!