K!

whew.

yesterday was my first day of my new afterschool job in Sharon!  It went very well.  people are friendly and helpful.  i get a good vibe from the place.

Today was my second day-- and it was a little different because it was a half day in sharon, so i was there from 12:00 noon till 6pm.  That's a long tome of unstructured play with young children.  A long time.  And guess what?  For the time being I am stuck with the kindergarteners.

Of all the things you could do with me... kindergarted would be just about the last place I belong.  For reals.

i know what you're thinking:  but kindergarteners are sooo cuuuuute!

True story.  In part.  A kindergartener or a few kindergarteners can fairly called cute.

But, cute as they are, they are, to me, a whole separate species apart from humans.

And 20 of the together?  Well, friends, that's a pack of kindergarteners, with pack mentality, infighting, personality conflicts, varying degrees of development, need, patience, ans social skills.

And you know what else?  They tend to smell.  They make bodily functions willy nilly without apology or concern for others.  They tend to be sticky and germy and crusty and tangled and unbuttoned and unzipped and ugh.

But they're cute.  Which is why, I think, they are allowed to survive.  

I think i was sent to kindergarten to learn something about myself and become a better overall educator.  Wish me luck in that endeavor.

Today I played connect 4 with this little fucking cheater and it took all of my inner patience not to get up and walk away.  To stay and try to gently teach her how to play and play to win.  All I wanted was to shake her by her shoulders and say:  "One fucking piece at a time you shitty little cheat!"

So there.  i'm not the maternal warm and cuddly type.  I have to work harder at being patient and nice and constructive with kids.  I do.  But I get a little better every single day.  And I haven't snapped at a kid in a long long time.  So i think I'm maturing nicely, learning to be even keel.

But my inner monologue around these monsters?  Fucking priceless!