It has been a turbulent few weeks. Believe it or not, it has nothing to do with my birthday! I may be one of the few folks who doesn't give a fuck about turning another year older. Maybe it will feel different when 30 rolls around, but 29 was thoroughly unevenetful and unemotional.
Having to suddenly go off all my meds because of insurance complications, on the other hand... not pretty.
And my doctor tells me that doing this literally causes brain damage. Not figuratively, not "It's like causing brain damage", but it ACTUALLY damages my brain. Possibly irreparably.
Oh.
Well.
Oh well. What can you do?
So If I begin to drool more frequently we'll know why...
I had a mixed bag of a weekend. Some real highlights; friends, family, and relaxation with the hubs.
However, as I was ridiculously busy I failed, for the second weekend in a row, to even make a dent in the mountain of correcting I need to get done.
It is becoming a serious concern. Term ends next week. Yikesaroni.
And this weekend meant facing a lot of different people weilding the same dreaded question: How's work?
grumble.
The more I was asked it the less sure I became.
How is work?
Fine. I guess. I think.
It isn't a natural fit. It just isn't. I love the kids to bits, and I really like my collegues, and I think the school system is wonderful. It just...
Guys, I'm not a teacher. At least not this kind of teacher. Can I teach? It seems so. But it does not come naturally and it does not bring me the joy or satisfaction that I think is necessary to making it in such a demanding, pressure-packed career. I mean, you gotta want this bad to put up with the incredible stress, pressure, bullshit, and hassle.
And while I want A JOB bad, I want A SALARY bad, this chosen path just isn't superb for me.
But I'm working at it. Everyday. Working so hard I practically collapse from exhaustion at the close of each day.
Working and wondering when or even if I'll ever feel confident. Or qualified. Or even comfortable.
It is nearly 1 AM now. Just finished lesson planning a few minutes ago.
Time for bed. I have to get into work early tomorrow.
Looking forward to enjoying some autumnal delights and ghost-hunting this weekend!
Having to suddenly go off all my meds because of insurance complications, on the other hand... not pretty.
And my doctor tells me that doing this literally causes brain damage. Not figuratively, not "It's like causing brain damage", but it ACTUALLY damages my brain. Possibly irreparably.
Oh.
Well.
Oh well. What can you do?
So If I begin to drool more frequently we'll know why...
I had a mixed bag of a weekend. Some real highlights; friends, family, and relaxation with the hubs.
However, as I was ridiculously busy I failed, for the second weekend in a row, to even make a dent in the mountain of correcting I need to get done.
It is becoming a serious concern. Term ends next week. Yikesaroni.
And this weekend meant facing a lot of different people weilding the same dreaded question: How's work?
grumble.
The more I was asked it the less sure I became.
How is work?
Fine. I guess. I think.
It isn't a natural fit. It just isn't. I love the kids to bits, and I really like my collegues, and I think the school system is wonderful. It just...
Guys, I'm not a teacher. At least not this kind of teacher. Can I teach? It seems so. But it does not come naturally and it does not bring me the joy or satisfaction that I think is necessary to making it in such a demanding, pressure-packed career. I mean, you gotta want this bad to put up with the incredible stress, pressure, bullshit, and hassle.
And while I want A JOB bad, I want A SALARY bad, this chosen path just isn't superb for me.
But I'm working at it. Everyday. Working so hard I practically collapse from exhaustion at the close of each day.
Working and wondering when or even if I'll ever feel confident. Or qualified. Or even comfortable.
It is nearly 1 AM now. Just finished lesson planning a few minutes ago.
Time for bed. I have to get into work early tomorrow.
Looking forward to enjoying some autumnal delights and ghost-hunting this weekend!
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