Attending this anxiety group makes me more anxious than not.  I'm learning breathing techniques and trying to re-wire my negative thought patterns into more positive, empowered ones. 

Bleck.

I wish I had a 'restart' button, or that I could load from a previous save.  But how far back would i go?

High school. 
Maybe younger?

Shrug.  Sigh.  Roll eyes.

Living a worthless life-- and being aware of it-- is an exhausting, demoralizing thing.

Two suicide attempts in 29 years.

If my life is old school nintendo, then I won't get to load from a previous save if I attempt one more time.  NES didn't have any save files, you know?  If Mario bit the big one and had no more free guys?  That was it.

No matter if you were one level in or all the way to the scary tanks.

Dead was dead, back in the world of old school videogaming.

Excepting, of course, that you could simply start over.  Sure it was back at the very first level, but at least it didn't like permanently render your system out of order or anything.

I imagine a successful suicide attempt would result in total system failure.

 unless there's an afterlife.

Which I doubt.