Today was long and rather overwhelming. And that was with no kids! Tomorrow they all come back to school and it is sink or swim for Ms. Reardon, first year english teacher.
Jesus Christ.
I am feeling like I don't have a fucking clue. Or, well, more accurately, like I have several assorted scraps of clues, but that the mystery is still very puzzling and no clear picture is emerging. I feel like I'm being pulled in a hundred different direction, I feel underinformed, underprepared, underqualified, and under a hugely crushing amount of pressure.
Boy will I have a lot to talk about with my therapist tomorrow afternoon!
My loved ones are assuring me that I CAN do this, that I will succeed, that I will learn as I go and that I will not only survive, but thrive.
I wish, I really really really wish I had their confidence in me. God, I feel like I'm stumbling blind. I just don't feel ready. I tried to prepare, I really did, but as the day approaches, I just don't think I prepared adequately!!
EEEEEEEK!!
And don't even get me started on how this job\career HAS to work out. Goodness. Talk about pressure. I don't really have the luxury of deciding this isn't for me and starting some other career. I quite literally can't afford to suck at this and get fired.
So it's time to suck it up, learn mighty fast, and fake it till I make it. God help me and god help those kids.
Jesus Christ.
I am feeling like I don't have a fucking clue. Or, well, more accurately, like I have several assorted scraps of clues, but that the mystery is still very puzzling and no clear picture is emerging. I feel like I'm being pulled in a hundred different direction, I feel underinformed, underprepared, underqualified, and under a hugely crushing amount of pressure.
Boy will I have a lot to talk about with my therapist tomorrow afternoon!
My loved ones are assuring me that I CAN do this, that I will succeed, that I will learn as I go and that I will not only survive, but thrive.
I wish, I really really really wish I had their confidence in me. God, I feel like I'm stumbling blind. I just don't feel ready. I tried to prepare, I really did, but as the day approaches, I just don't think I prepared adequately!!
EEEEEEEK!!
And don't even get me started on how this job\career HAS to work out. Goodness. Talk about pressure. I don't really have the luxury of deciding this isn't for me and starting some other career. I quite literally can't afford to suck at this and get fired.
So it's time to suck it up, learn mighty fast, and fake it till I make it. God help me and god help those kids.
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1 comment:
lets hook up this weekend and CHAT! ! ! !
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