Goddamn Phony

Today I'm subbing a few english classes, and their assignment is to trace Holdn Caulfield's "I am..." statements.

The young man is chaulk full of 'I am' statements.  As are we all, right?  Salinger's tale is in essence a precurser to the modern blog, am I right?  Obviously it is more artful and it is, afterall, a narrative where most of our blogs meander and don't necessariily add up to a sum total of a story, but it is designed to feel like that, isn't it?  Like a journal or a diary?

I think it would be fun to imagine Holden Caulfield with a facebook or a twitter account.

HOLDEN CAULFIELD is so pissed off with these goddamn phonies right now...

Anywho.

Better Bean tonight, which makes me smile. :)  Morning sex this AM, which made me grin. =D
Halfway through the week, which is so fantabulous I can't even quite grasp it.

There are alot of confusing and toublesome things going on in my life right now.  Alot of mixed messages and half-truths and evasive manuevers going on, which are making ripples in my pool of calm.  But what can I do?  All I can do is my best to respond with grace and humility.

Life has been so busy and hectic that I seem to be losing touch with people who mean a great deal to me.  I need to figure out a solution for this.  Maybe I'll brainstorm.  Or get a hell of alot better at managing my schedule.  But I am only one half of the problem-- the loved ones have busy lives too.

Gotta run.

Maybe later I'll chat about how abysmal my writing is becoming lately.  Saccharine and flaccid and yawn-enducing.  i think I might need to kill someone or something.  I'm too fond of these characters, and need to shake up their little lives some more.

I seriously wrote a scene the other day where Nolan tells Zahra he loves her for the first time. Sweet right?  yeah, and that's all it was.  sweet.  it was a goddamn daydream written down on paper.  No merit at all, just my heart having little fantasies of lovey dovey bullshit.

It was sweet though :)