Coward is a strong word.

Don't you think?

I'd sooner call someone a bitch than a coward. 

What is it about corage versus cowardice that goes right down into our viscera? 

Have you ever been called a coward?

And being afraid, while certainly related, is not necessarily the same as being a coward.

That's an aspersion, that once cast, does some real pyschological cartwheels--doesn't it.

Let each of these resonate and see which sticks in your craw.

"You're crazy."

"You're a bitch"

"You're an asshole"

"You're wrong."

"You're a coward."

Whoosh.

Especially if the accusation is made in earnest.  If someone has assesed who you are and decided that this is the sum total of your existence.  "You're a coward."

Does it rankle because there's truth to it?  It must.  If someone called you a republican, say, and you weren't the least bit right-leaning, then I don't think this is an insult that carries much weight.

So perhaps you haven't a cowardly bone in your body.  Perhaps, then,. being called a coward simply doesn't resonate with you. 

But my gut tells me it does.  Humans really really really get their hackles up at accusations of cowardice.  An entire fiction and film genre seems entirely based on this concept, as well as all the major decisions of Marty McFly in the back to the Future series.

The Old West:  Watch your tongue, stranger, or find yourself out on main street at dawn defending your honor.

My favorite was in BTTF2 when the girl bully says:  "What's the matter, McFly?  Ain't got no scrote?" 

and, the natural marriage:  Marty McFly as 'Clint Eastwood' in the olde tyme garb.  "Nobody calls me yellah"

And is it different for men and women?  I realize I joked, above, about the 'scrote' line in back to the future.  But from what i understand it certainly impugns a guys, well, manhood, to be termed a coward. 

But women can certainly behave as cowards.  In fact, I'd say they do it more regularly.  Choose the safe path over the adventurous one.  Make the expected or condoned choice rather than take a leap.  Nothing wrong, technically, is there?  Some argue that it's just plain smart.  But how many doors went unopened.  How many experiences passed up.  How safe, and comfortable, and predictable, and completely unchallenging their daily routine.  Is this the role of women?

Why, then, am I so very bothered by being thought of as a coward?  And why do I harbor such disdain for those I've judged to be cowards?  Frightened of their feelings, or too afraid to go after their dreams, or happy with their routine even if it is completely unfulfilling, even if they aren't growing or evolving in any way? Why am I so tortured when I evaluate my own existence and see that yellow streak a mile wide?  why am I so sickened and repulsed.

I have no balls, so I shouldn't be impugned if someone tells me I need to 'sack up', and yet my nostrils flars and I have a boiling gut reaction.

I've done both the adventurous things and the shamefully safe.  So it isn't as if I always defer the risks.

Ah.  and the language we use to qualify bravery, to contextualize cowardice.

Shame.

Risk.

Hero.

Loser.

Danger.

Selflessness.

routine.

boring.

exciting.

thrilling.

strong.

weak.

and the imagery.  hollywood, storybooks, all of it.  The coward, skulking in the shadows of great men; the coward: a timid little mouse; the follower; the one who needs to be saved; the one who gets eaten or left behind because they didn't have the courage or the wherewithal to get through.

The movie's not about the coward.

Heroes aren't cowards.

Sure they feel fear.  They grapple with self doubt.  but in the end they take action.  when it comes down to it, they 'sack-up'.  They have within them something admirable.  

And the coward sits at home and reads about it almost wistfully. 

Can people tell if they are cowards?

I can tell.